Apparently I have pinched a nerve in my neck. This is causing pain to radiate down my left arm and across my chest. It was particularly bad last night – keeping me awake until nearly 2 am. I figure this is what is causing my eyelids to feel as if 30 # weights have been strapped to them. To make matters worse — I have very little to do at work today. SO there is nothing to occupy my brain for more then 5 or so minutes at a whack.
For want of anything better to write
Time is a plaything for children and fools.
Try enjoying yourself. Everyone else has.
I’ve always maintained that one should never tangle with anything that has more teeth than the Osmond family.
As the Euclideans would have it, irrationality is the square
root of all evil.
Nice computers don’t go down…
All men have the right to dig their own graves, and I have the right to sell them the shovels.
Evolution doesn’t take prisoners.
The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and three hundred sixty-two admonishments to heterosexuals. That doesn’t mean that God doesn’t love heterosexuals. It’s just that they need more supervision.
When I die, I want to go peacefully in my sleep like my father did, not screaming in terror like his passengers.
The Delta-United Ring Formation Theory states that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage.
Proletarian revolutions are notably ineffective when the ruling class composed of gods.
Only the lavender prairie dogs know the key to unlock the secret of the tumble-weeds.
For every new foolproof invention there is a new and improved fool.
Life is sometimes like a pizza round: hot, greasy, and delivered by a guy named ‘Tony’.
Coitus ergo sum
You know it’s a bad morning when you get up out of bed and miss the floor.
Any given program, when running, needs debugging. Any debugged program is obsolete.
The most useful tool for dealing with management types is, of course, an automatic weapon.
Do not call up that which you cannot put on hold
It is by caffeine alone that I set my mind in motion. It is by the soda that the thoughts acquire speed, the lips acquire stains, the stains become a warning. It is by caffeine alone that I set my mind in motion.
Horniness is a quintessential example of hope.
The quickest way to a man’s heart is through his ribcage.
You DON’T want me to translate that. No, really you don’t.
They are a puckish band of rapscallions
Acting without thinking can be awfully entertaining.
A little madness now and then is relished by the wisest men.
Okay, everybody in this room who’s telekinetic, raise my hand.
When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.
Hey, go buy a plane ticket to another state of mind, okay?
Death is just the ultimate expression of radical solipsism.
If it looks like a duck, acts like a duck, and quacks like a duck it is probably just a tool of the conspiracy.
Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum: I think I think, therefore I think I am.
It would have worked, too, if it hadn’t been for those meddling kids andtheir fucking dog!
We find the defendant innocent by reason of being generally clueless.
I’ll heal your wounds, I’ll set you free; I’m Jesus Christ on ecstasy
Humans: Bet you can’t eat just one.
Sarcasm helps you avoid telling people what you really think of them
The problem with troubleshooting is that real trouble shoots back.
Welcome to Borger King. Your way will be assimilated.
I wouldn’t recommend sex, drugs and insanity for everyone, but they’ve always worked for me.
A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day.
A hundred thousand lemmings can’t be wrong.
For him to get a clue would require heroic implant surgery.
Love is in the offing, said the homicidal maniac.
Beware of a tall dark man with a spoon up his nose.
Do not take life too seriously; you will never get out of it alive.
Of all forms of caution, caution in love is the most fatal.
I’m sorry, did I assassinate your penguin?
The world is coming to an end. Please log off.
Drive defensively; buy a tank.
Never try to outstubborn a cat.
Spacetime isn’t curved, it’s positively bent.
You killed Ted, you medieval dickweed!
It would seem that no matter how you slice it, it still comes up Velveeta.
No man is an island, but then no man is a potato salad, either.
You can’t lick the system, but you can certainly give it a damn good fondling…
Don’t worry. Baldrick has a cunning plan.
Well, it looks like blind, screaming hedonism won out.