Alrighty Then…Full Steam Ahead!

As I mentioned in my previous post – I am a complete insurance moron. I’ve never really had insurance as an adult so the whole process baffles me.
I was on the phone with the insurance Customer Care folks for Anthem BC/BS PPO and the surgeon I picked for most of the day today. It turns out that if I want this surgery to be paid for by my insurance carrier then I will have to have my surgery scheduled for/before August 29, 2004. That’s less than a month away. But after that, Anthem will not be paying for this type of surgery anymore.
I am of course, going for it. I have no idea if I can get all my little duckies in a row in time to get this surgery. But I cannot…I WILL not sit idly by and let this chance slip by. I feel that this is Deity talking to me – saying “Get up off that couch, Girl and get in motion!”

Wish me luck folks and pray for me. I’m gonna need it.

PS…Serendipitous note of interst: I chose my surgeon because he’s “in network” for my insurance plan and for his location – Dallas, which is close to my folks.
Turns out he is the doctor who performed the WLS on my Aunt Carol a year and a half ago. Yeah, the *very* aunt whose surgery inspired me to seek this out as a possibility.


Extra! Extra! Breaking News on the Mare Front

I’m decided to get gastric bypass surgery. I know that its probably a year before the actual operation is performed but, I am nervous about it.

Now, before my friends all boil over with “no! don’t do it! blah, blah, blah!” I want them to consider the following:

*** Even excercising and being on various diets throughout the last few years, I have consistently gained weight.
*** My past history includes such wonderful things as 12 years of smoking (I started when I was 12) and drug usage. Lots and lots of drug usage, to be perfectly frank.
*** My family medical history falls under “freakishly scary”
*** In fact, let’s recap that history JUST for my dad: morbidly obese (like 350 pounds worth), diabetes type II, hernia from the weight, cyrhosis of the liver (from the weight), breakthrough bleeding in his stomach walls (probably from the weight), CHF (congestive heart failure), high blood pressure, sleep apnea (likely from the weight).
*** This is a decision that I’ve come to after thinking about it for a year and a half. In fact, I’ve been thinking about it since my aunt got it (Dad’s sister – also morbidly obese).
*** I am _morbidly_ obese, according to doctors and the American Health Association.
*** My heart flutters and arythmia over the past two years – while they have indeed mostly abated since I quit my high stress job; I have to wonder whether I would have had them had I been lighter.
*** My BMI is in the scary numbers. And unless I’ve told you personally what it and my weight is – no, they’re none of your business.

I have researched this pretty thoroughly. I already know what the risks are. I also know what the risks aren’t. The surgery itself has become alot safer in the last 10 years. I am ready for it – in fact, if I could afford it I would be strolling into a hospital right now. But I foresee a long and hard battle with the insurance company.
I am asking you now to be supportive in the coming months for me. Please don’t condescend to me by telling/wishing aloud that I would drop this. Please don’t air your objections thinly disguised as “advice”. Respect that I have already thought about this and that my mind is made up.

Thank you.

Mommy Mauderings

We’ve been teaching the Girlie to swim since the weather got warm enough. I had no idea that teaching her would be this difficult. Its not that she’s afraid of the water. I could almost deal with that. It’s that she has absolutely no fucking fear at all.
Picture this: She’s got on a snorkelling mask. One of those masks that fits over both the eyes and the nose. She’s wearing this and her little pink waterwings. And DIVING into the deep end of the pool.
When I swim up next to her – not touching, mind just in arm’s plucking reach – she giggles like mad and pushes off me with her little feet, heading for deeper water. Nevermind that she cannot really swim well (read: at all).
She’s bound and determined to take the wings off, too. She doesn’t feel like she needs them. Indeed they are apparently holding her back from her Esther-Williams like glory.

That’s my Girl. Fearless and a bit of a show-off. Gods how I love that kid.

Autobiography in Five Short Chapters


I walk down the street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I fall in. I am lost…I am helpless. It isn’t my fault. It takes forever to find a way out.


I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I pretend I don’t see it. I fall in again. I can’t believe I am in the same place. But it isn’t my fault. It still takes a long time to get out.


I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I see it is there. I still fall in…it’s a habit. My eyes are open. I know where I am. It is my fault. I get out immediately.


I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I walk around it.


I walk down another street.

-Autobiography in Five Short Chapters by Portia Nelson

More Gnus!

Oh, I’m tired. I was awake all last night (til five AM) and got up with the Girlie this morning at 8. Then off to internship! Whee. But I’ve only three more massages to go tho and I am through with internship.


Notice to all my Austinite type friends:
I am helping with a Peace Celebration at the Unity Church of the Hills tomorrow. It will be at 7PM in the foyer of the church. The official explanation sez

“The Maya culture points to a very particular date, December 21, 2012 calling it “The Closing of the Cycle” or the “Great Shift” …
July 25, 2004 is called the Day Out of Time … and was prophesied as the beginning of the shift. It is the 365th day of the Mayan year – a day for forgiveness, freedom and a celebration of natural time.

We call on you to join in a celebration of peace in the shift away from the old ways of seperation toward the vision of oneness and peace. We ask you to write a personal intention to be offered to the Fire later (that night). This can be a prayer or a promise which comes from your heart.”

I will be one of the speakers in the circle. (I have a very limited segment – like 1 minute). But I am inviting you to come and join in our prayers for peace.

This is for SATURDAY not Friday as this appears to be. I was very tired when I wrote it. My bad.

Not much to report

I’m back from another exciting night of internship.
On the upside I did get to work with a mama-to-be. Yay!

Not much to post right now. Brain’s too tired. I have just this to say: If you have the new Yahoo IM, try this the next time you are chatting with a friend. Click on the audibles button. Then the “More Audibles” button. Select “Happy Tree Friends”. The first selection is Disco. Click and send that lil bad boy to someone.

I damn near peed myself laughing.