errrrr…
did i have plans tonight?

for lo, my brain is fried and i cannot recall

If your massage therapist has come *all* the way out to your home – and NOT charged the usual travel fee – and is doing deep tissue work on your fucked up hips and lumbar, it is important to remember ONE thing.

Please, do not fart in his face.

That is all.

Dear Clueless Fuckwit,

Back off. You do not know with whom you are jacking with. If I have to tell you again, there will be blood.

Got it?

<3,
me

SYSADMIN DUDE/FRIEND: So, me ‘n the girlfriend are going to drive cross country for a week. From here to Portland. And, we’re going to stop at national monuments like the Grand Canyon and the Giant Rubber Band Ball to do some naked photo shoots.
ME: Keen! Are the federal parks cool with you doing nudes out there?
SYADMIN DUDE/FRIEND: I have no idea. I guess I should check that, huh?
ME: Yeah, nothing sucks worse than being thrown naked into jail.
SYSADMIN DUDE/FRIEND: Ah, hell no. I’ll go down in a blaze of glory before they throw my lesbian** naked into jail!

** He dates a self-professed lesbian. She’s cute, too.

I can tell already that its going to be a day that makes me want to have screaming hysterics. I have had little sleep, and I’m working on things today that require me to be observant.

ha!

Tiredness is stealing through my brain, my body. I can feel my wits falling away in long, slow waves. Its like being smothered in heavy cream.

I may have to go home @ lunch and nap.

Mmmm…bed….

After my usual (!!get the fuck outta my way you slow-ass bitches!!) drive into work, I am ready to face the day. So long as the coffee machine is working, which *slurp* …it is. Ahh, caffeine.

Today is the day. The truck is reserved, the lease is signed, the boxes are kinda-sorta packed. I am SO not ready for this. Well, OK. I am ready in the sense that I am ready to move out. I am not ready in the sense of “omfg I have no movers & i’m not done packing & who’s gonna watch the Girlie during the move & what is my game plan & the truck has to go back tomorrow & it looks like its going to rain & & & & …”

I’m not panicking just yet. I can feel the panicbeast circling though. Its sharp, little teeth have nipped me a couple of times but so far, I’ve kept it at bay.

*prays Please don’t rain, Please don’t rain, Please don’t rain

TITLE: Deerges Baesd On Yuor Kgwonlee

BODY: Hi mom & dad

I wanted to write and thank you for that Degre|e program you told me about, i tried it out and it worked!

I got my Master|s in 2 weeks ;]. Mom tell cousin Sam to call that number you gave me, this program really works great i was very surprised!

Here is the # 206-984-2310 just tell him to call and leave a message, they will get back to you right away.

Love you guys,
Adolph”