*lights the incense*

Dear Gods of Sleep….

You know,…I have been nice. I have followed all Thy rules. Even when they seemed to conflict with one another.

I have eaten of no food right before bed.
I have eaten a large meal right before bed.
I have gotten out of bed when it seems that Your will did not include me.
I have stayed in bed when your blessing had been withheld.
I have read boring texts in an attempt to court your affections, as proscribed by your clergy.
I have discontinued the imbibing of caffeine after noon, most esp. in the form of regular coffee – which is repellent in Thy eyes.
I have taken the sacred Benadryl, the sacred Dimatap, the sacred melatonin AND the sacred warm milk. Even though the last one made me barf like a high pressure hose.
None of these rituals have seemed to have helped. You have appeared to abaondon me.

Please, Gods of Sleep. Grant me thy absolution for whatever sin I have committed in Thy sight. Give me sleep in quantities of more than 3 hours at a whack.

Yr. Obedient and Forgotten Servant,

16 thoughts on “*lights the incense*

  1. Have you tried the holy hammer of bonking ? 😉

    Or more seriously, have you tried walking…with the exception of last night, I’ve been sleeping better since I started walking.

  2. I couldn’t get to sleep until 2am…alarm goes off at 6am…

    I know I’m dead tired, because when I saw your post, I thought you opened it with “Dear Gods of Sheep….”

    I need to go home and go back to bed. Sounds like you do, too. 🙂

    1. I wish; insomnia is kind of a way of life for me. It comes in waves as far as intensity goes. Some nights are worse than others.

      Here’s the kicker: when I used to work the graveyard shift, I got way plenty sleep. I don’t know if mine is insomnia or a simple nocturnal paradigm.

  3. I can SO relate at this point. Haven’t been sleeping for chit.

    Think it may be because I broke this holy law:

    Though shall not worry too damned much.

    1. Cardnial rule, that.

      Thou shalt not stare at the ceiling and worry about crap while trying to rest.
      Thou shalt not needlessly fret over the shit you cannot change.

      Both of those are in the same subset.

    1. Ick. I can’t take that many any more. They upset my tummy.

      Plus, I hate the groggy, “huh?” feeling that they give me the next day. 8 hours of sleep is not a good trade off for sixteen hours of cobwebs.

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