Behind all wind and hullabaloo of the thunderstorm, another storm was ongoing in my house last evening. For whatever reason, I took something that was said completely and totally the wrong way. Blame PMS, blame the stars being out of aligment, or the fact that I don’t feel all that great – whatever. The long and short of it is that I was a crying, emtional wreck last evnening over *stupid* (and boy, do I mean stupid) shit.
Could it have been avoided? No, I don’t think so. And here’s my psychobabble on why:

I think I truly needed to cry. Not for the stupidity that occurred; that was just the catalyst. I have been dealing with a huge slew of emotional issues just recently. And for the most part, simply locking my reactions down. Angry at J for stupid stuff? Lock it down. Worried over the Girl’s school issues? Lock it down. Sad that things are ending? Lock it down. Stressed about finances? Yeah, you guessed it. Lock it down.
And I know I shouldn’t be doing that sort of repression. I get that emotions need to be expressed or they fester. But, in dealing with all this crap all at once, I felt that I needed to be functional. I needed to be strong. I needed to push the hurty crap away, if only for a little while.
Things came to an emotional head last night, though. I got overwhelmed by sad and just cried and cried. I actually do feel better emotionally this morning. Although, I am tired and still have a sore throat.

WorkFriend:  that’s what I’m handed to work with.

WorkFriend:  And I didn’t bring my Miracle wand with me, either.

Mare: you are fucked, dude

Mare: or at least, unpleasantly groped

WorkFriend:  I’m also going to need some cable runners, too.

WorkFriend:  and drop hardware.

WorkFriend:  but that’s phase two.

WorkFriend:  actually, phase .5 is getting the room to expand the switches.

WorkFriend:  I can get refurbed cards for the switches for 30 bucks a piece.

WorkFriend:  and I”ll require….not ask…for two hot spares, too, since they’re refurbs.

WorkFriend:  and in the mean time, I’ll fix printers, replace keyboards, enter users, configure email, find out why this computer didn’t connect to the network, authorize wireless clients to connect, attend training for the reservation system and retail management system…..

WorkFriend:  I think I’m unpleasantly groped.

Mare: nah, you’re beyond unpleasantly groped and into being anally fisted by a nazi dwarf named “klaus” who is into long walks on the beach and showtunes.

*glares at the sky*
Look, you. I very rarely have weather requests. I am usually just grateful that flaming meteors and/or livestock are not falling from the sky on a regular basis. That being said, I really, really do NOT want to camp in the mud and rain this weekend. Oh, I will if I have to. Its just my preference that it not be a re-enactment of any of the Flood mythos this weekend, mmkay?

Thanks!
~Mare
who can think of @ least six different & more enjoyable ways of getting damp that don’t involve rain

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Last night’s game was productive if not terribly exciting. I wish people would pull their collective heads out of their asses, stop contantly whining about what they want and how if we would just do what they want, the game would be so much more uber, etc. etc. Its annoying. Hopefully, with the meeting we had there will be more of a consensus and less stupidity happening. We shall see. I really love gaming with the majority of this group. There are one or two players that make me want to smack ’em, but that’s pretty much the norm in *any* gaming group.

*geek alert, unless you’ve played in this setting, this may not make sense*

Its a RiFtS game — totally fun; mercenary type setting in an apocolyptic world. I’m playing “Hal’oween”. She’s a true Atlantean Crazy. Her particular psychosis is that she believes that she is an Undead Slayer (hero complex). So she tends to walk around with her one arm canted over her breast and the other trailing behind. Think old, serial comic-book hero walking around like he’s got theme music and you’ll get the idea. Of course, she *does* have theme music. The mods in her head – the things that make her Crazy – are fully capable MP3 type players. EVERYthing she does has its own theme music, setup by the mad docs who put the enhancements in, in the first place. She didn’t sign up for the mods like most do. Oh, no. She was experiemented upon by body-shop docs working for the Splugies. She doesn’t even *know* that she’s been modified.
Oh, and her name? Yeah, she took it from the battered card she found when she woke up. It read “Happy Hal’oween”. Since she was happy – albeit a trifle sore – she figured it was describing her and therefore that was her name. The details…*big non-blinky eyes* …the details are NOT important.
Gotta love being an insane hero.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tonight must accomplish:

Laundry — all washed, dried, folded and put away
Bags pulled out and sorted
>>>> Clothing bag
>>>> Toiletries bag
>>>> Misc. bag (cards, pens, paper, books, lamps/flashlights, etc.)
Music CD’s made
Floors swept/mopped, vacuumed

Ok, there’s not much to do here. Let’s try to get this done, mmmkay?