My Day on The Phone…or why I despise doctors

Called to try and setup appointment with Doctor to discuss the pancreatitis, as per directions from nurse who gave me info. I also mention, “hey totally sick to tummy – drink/eat = yarf-fest, plz help” Doctor is not available, so talk to her nurse. Eventually.

Nurse says, “hospital”. I says “why? I has no money for ER”. Nurse says “cause doctor says so, duh!” I say “nausea med means I keep food down, no need for ER & stuff” Nurse says “pancreatitis totally serious and you must go to hospital for it be properly checked out” I says “why can’t do in office?” Nurse says “doctor go bye bye and not back til 10th” I say “…I don’t like hospitals, don’t like ER, do NOT have money for such. Gimme nausea meds so I stop puking up the advil that make the hedgehog under my boob go ‘way. Srsly.”

Nurse says “no want to mask symptoms of totally serious pancreatitis. You can do clear liquid diet but we strongly recommend you go hospital and get looked at. For reals, yo”.


Round and round we went . Finally just to get off the frocking phone, I say “fine, if you won’t help, stop sucking up my time. I’ll schedule something w/her when she gets back” Hopefully the damn thing is just aggravated and not actually necrotic.

So then I call Dodger for update & he’s on the tack of “they can’t pawn you off like that, call back and demand to talk to doctor.”
“the one who’s gone?”
“well…demand to talk to doctor’s backup. Can’t go out of town with out leaving backup in place”
“I think the office is closed for the fourth”
“ they cannot do that; what if there’s an emergency”
Me thinking: well, they’d probably just tell people that the office is closed and if they had an emergency to go to the ER.

I called doc’s office back. Pretty much went like I expected it to. ER, ma’am, etc.


13 thoughts on “My Day on The Phone…or why I despise doctors

    1. Drives me fucking bananas, it does. It took me over 30 minutes the first time and another 20 the second time for them to basically say, “we’re pawning you off ’cause we wanna start our holiday early”.

      Meanwhile, I am trying to get my own work-shit squared away whilst I have what I consider to be a particularly personal (as in not sharing with the coworkers the gritty details) phone call.

      *eye roll* I LOOOVE our health system, yes I do.

  1. Grrrrr Doctors are the worst witchdoctors in the world I’m convinced. Tey run around cursing people with panic right and left and then wonder why said people feel terrorized about seeing them. Bleh.

    1. I have a serious fear of doctors. Just talking to a nurse to setup an appt with one makes my palms sweat.

      Needles, doctors, hospitals – all of them. Hates them, my precious. Haaaaaaaaaates them forever!

  2. I am SO glad I’m not a doctor. I’d end up with a patient like you, and that would drive me to drinking. 🙂

    Feel better soon Bon. We love you.

    1. *squee*
      Thank you, doll.

      Sometimes you have to laugh or you think seriously about climbing something tall and pelting people with grapes.

      Or at least, I do.

  3. Ok, have they said for certain it’s pancreatitis? If so, then in this case I’m actually gonna side with the doc on this one. Hon, my mother had pancreatitis. It put her in an ICU for 4 months and 3.5 of those months was on a respirator. No, I’m not wanting to scare you, but pancreatitis is serious business.

    We all luvs you very much. *hugs*
    Feel better soon.

    1. Neh, not scared of what you have to say…AM being cautious, promise.

      A doctor looked at my lab results & told a nurse to tell me thusly,

      “Lo, her lipase(*) is 407 when it should be somewhere near 100-something. Even tho we have not done ultrasound but only cursorily mashed on her guts, we shall call it pancreatitis.”

      In all honesty, it likely *IS*; I am nauseated, I feel like I am smuggling a pissed porcupine under my ribs. I could wish it wasn’t with it being a grilling holiday and all – pretty sure that BBQ sauce yarfed up is NASTY (right, Rob?) and don’t wanna go there if I can help it.

      Thank you very much for the concern. The current plan is if I am not feeling tons better tomorrow – ie., not barfing like I’m trying to see if I can bring up my toenails – then, off to the ER with me.
      NOT thrilled with this option, really not. But AM feeling better this evening than I have in a couple of days.

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