Yo.

Slept until 10.30 and have pretty much been sitting around doing as little as possible. I jumped on CoH for a bit this morning and hell, I may do so again here in a bit.

Feel A LOT — A LOT — better this morning. Coffee has stayed down and am now eating some brunch. Hedgehog of pokey doom is gone from under the boob altho I still feel pressure.*

I know that the 4th is a celebration of the nation, the sacrifices that were made to achieve the ideals for which this country was founded. (good gods, i sounded like Bush there for a moment –“where would this great nation be without this great country of ours?”) *laughs* I deeply appreciate the life that I have in this country, even as I regard its government with a suspicious & jaded eye.

However, this year I think that I am going to add something to my usual observances.

I choose to celebrate my independence from: Fear of doctors, hospitals or anything vaguely medical related.

It’s my body, my life. I can be forthright with doctors and not fear that I am going to be hurt for doing so. I am independent of their opinions OF me. I do not need to prove anything to anyone. I am not at fault for feeling bad, and I am not to blame for being ill. If you can help me, great – I appreciate your doing so. If you can’t or are going to be an obstruction to my getting well, just fuck off. I am not here because this is where I want to be. Nor am I here to make anyone’s life difficult. I am here because something has gone awry and I need help — the help that you as a doctor vowed to deliver – to make it right again.

But, if we can do this without needles, that would be awesome. 🙂

* — If I suddenly start barfing again, I will keep my promises and head off to the hospital.