Month: August 2007

omfg, you have to be kidding me!

~ Bon Steele ~ 2 Comments

Dear Gods of Allergies:

Fuck you.

Love and kisses,
Me

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Lords of Finance,

I am most sincerely sorry that I did something to piss you off. I would make the appropriate sacrifices and light the right candles if I could only figure out what they are. Let’s face O Mighty Ones, You haven’t been exactly forthcoming on the whole subject. I found out what caused yesterday’s foo – and while yes, it is legit – it IS NOT fixable by mere mortals like me.

Now, I don’t want to anger you further by calling you a bunch of lice-ridden twats, but you do realize that your behavior has been cuntish in the extreme? Unfortunately, you seem to have taken me as your favorite masturbatory device. Or game.

Every time I think I’ve got a handle on things, that I’m going to get my feet back under me – along comes a new bit of fuckery to yank the rug out from under me. I will get back on track and get this taken care of but in the meantime? Yeah, no love.

*DIAFABDIA,
~me


* – Die In A Fire After Being Dipped In Acid.

~ Bon Steele ~ 1 Comment

De pepples on de road are stooooooooooopid. Dey are de liddle bah-bah-baaaahs.

*eye roll*

Dropped off Girliekins for her first day of school. From start to finish, the round trip took me almost 2 hours. It wouldn’t have been that long but every mother’s son and daughter had apparently forgotten how to drive. Not that they had much of a leap to that state here in Flake-Central.*

At any rate, got her to school and dropped off. She looked tres adorable in her little red & plaid dress. If ever I figure out how to post camera phone pics here, I will do so.


*- we gots two main kinds of drivers here in Austin:
Self-important, Suburban-driving, soccer moms with their cell phones rammed to their ears with one hand and a mascara wand in the other. “Steer? That’s what your knees are for, Officer!”
and
Tripped out, heavy patchouli oil-wearing so their co-workers at the organic co-op won’t smell the sweat & ganja on them, cosmically linked hippies. “Duuuuuuude, I know like the light was red but like the universal vibe told me to go ahead & turn left against traffic.”

*snicker*

~ Bon Steele ~ 1 Comment

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Triplemare!

  1. Triplemare kept at the window will keep vampires at bay.
  2. While sleeping, fifteen percent of men snore, and ten percent grind their triplemare.
  3. The porpoise is second to triplemare as the most intelligent animal on the planet!
  4. There is no lead in a lead pencil – it is simply a stick of graphite mixed with triplemare and water.
  5. Cats use their triplemare to test whether a space is large enough for them to fit through!
  6. Scientists believe that triplemare began billions of years ago as an enormous ball of dust and gas!
  7. Long ago, the people of Nicaragua believed that if they threw triplemare into a volcano it would stop erupting.
  8. Triplemare is incapable of sleep.
  9. Triplemare will become gaseous if her temperature rises above -42°C.
  10. Triplemare was first discovered by Alexander the Great in India, and introduced to Europe on his return.

I am interested in – do tell me aboutherhimitthem