Hey Ya’ll….

George RR Martin says, Doing Good is its own reward…but when you can Do Good and add some nifty autographed books to your collection at the same time, well, that’s even better.

In a nutshell, its a fundraiser for Obama called “Books for Barack.” You make a donation at the site listed and get a tote bag filled with 10 autographed books from a large number of contributing authors. Some of the authors include Stephen King, Judy Blume, Michael Chabon, Nora Ephron, Alan Furst, Garrison Keillor, Lemony Snicket, Amy Tan, Steve Martin, Ursula K. Le Guin, Jonathan Lethem, Dennis Lehane, Ann Tyler….and apparently more are signing up.

Its a sizable donation – $250 – but I figure if a couple/few people chip in and send it along it might be doable. Either way, its neat to see some of my fave authors getting behind my candidate choice.

Impressive. Most. Impressive.

My friend, the Pablinator, has done it again. He has written something that is so beautiful, so full of meaning and just fucking poetry, that I have to re-post for youse all to enjoy.

You can read it on his Myspace…

…or here in its full technicolor glory:

—The 700 Billion Pound Gorilla —

I’m kinda wobbly here.

A bunch of banks make a bunch of loans, issue tons of credit, and approve loads of mortgages that are, shall we say, somewhat less than charitable. In fact, it has the ring of a sinister plot worthy of several venerable super-villains. Lex Luthor and Doctor Doom would be proud.

This cunning scheme turns around and pisses all kinds of backward on the banks, as thousands of people who took on those charming fiscal nightmares… defaulted.


It’s like a morbid Eddie Izzard routine…

Banking Bastard: Say, you owe us eleventy-billion dollars on that mortgage you signed. D’you have it?

Hapless Victim: Sorry, fresh out of billions, thanks. Go fish!

Banking Bastard: Oh, come on, please?

Hapless Victim: Nope, no billions, terribly sorry. Suppose you want my house, then?

Banking Bastard: Yes, please. Now bugger off, I’ve another Hapless Victim to badger.

Guess the banks never imagined anyone getting fucked over by their predatory trap and (gasp) not being able to pay the exorbitant amounts of interest that wound up in their laps like a pissed-off badger hopped up on grade-A angry sauce.

I’m sure they figured a few suckers would go teats-up (after months of being bled dry), but most of the sheep would toddle along safe as houses. Profits would rise, eggs would be cracked, omelettes for everyone at the Pigs table. Cheers!


So, venerable banking institutions, morgage brokers, and their vampiric ilk start going tits-up. The Stock Market gets the jitters. The number ‘1929’ starts getting whispered. And then…

The government rides in on it’s big white charger and bails the motherfuckers out… to the tune of $700 Billion and counting. Hooray! The day is saved!

Except, no one seems to be asking “who’s gonna pay for this fucking fiasco?”… ultimately?

I’ll give ya a little hint, it rhymes with ‘schmaxpayers’.

Now, I’m no economics wizard, but the last I looked? We’re fuckin’ BROKE, this country. We’re just as hooked on credit as the daft schmucks who lined up for this financial Jonestown and willingly knocked back a double-shot of Economic Suicide Kool-aid. We have a multiple trillion dollar deficit, our beloved yankee greenback is plummeting from grace with a bullet, and now we’re shelling out close to a trillion bucks to bail out a bunch of well-fed jackals who are victims of their own insatiable greed?!

Golly, how are we gonna pay for all them bullets we need over in the Holy Crusades (21st Century ed.)?

The answer seems pretty clear – we’re not. We’re gonna hock even more of our precious motherland to foreign investors. The Chinese in particular must feel like fat men at the American All-You-Can-Eat buffet.

Oh, yes, something must be done, no doubt about it. And some of that something should involve taking those responsible out of their lavish homes, lining them up on Wall Street at high noon, and filling them full of lead for the whole world to see.

Instead? These lucky fuckers are going to probably retire, cashing a sweet golden parachute check on their way out the door. They’ve done far more damage to this country than a pair of jetliners flown into the side of New York skyscrapers, and if there’s any justice in the world, they’ll pay, and pay dearly.

What I’m wondering is – what’ll happen to the people that really took a schtupping from all this – the kool-aid fans with those shitty mortgages? Is the government gonna say “whoopsy, here’s a fair mortgage, do-over, get out of homelessness free card?”

Not bloody fucking likely.

Even if? What about the people who already lost their homes? Retroactive cavalry charge? Bush and his gang of jackals come up and give them back their house keys?

Better not hold your breath, kids, that shade of blue looks bad on everyone.

And, you know, there’s no guarantee that this nigh-trillion bailout will stop the blood flowing from the gaping hole in our financial innards. None whatsoever. Another nightmare like this – and folks in their golden years could see a second Great Depression in their lifetimes.

So, please, for all of our sakes, if you know anyone thinking of voting Republican, grab them and shake the fucking stupid out of them until they see the light… unless bread lines and social unrest sound chic to you. Need I remind you? The President who was on duty when the Depression of ’29 hit… was a Republican. Ask anyone who was alive back then how fun living in a “Hooverville” was… and then hope that no one should have to find out what a “McCainville” is.