Long, long day. I meant to write up a regular post this morning, but I woke up late and had to scramble out the door. Please accept a smattering of snark instead.
~*~ Nothing says “glamorous” quite like leaving sweaty butt prints on the machines there, cupcake.
~*~ Mmm, that sure is a sexy convertible! I love how it makes your comb-over flap like wee little hands. Yay, loser-applause!
~*~ Stuck to the inside lid of the “feminine bin” does not, in fact, satisfy the “don’t flush your pad” rule in the public restroom.
~*~ Whoops! I guess there should have been a freshly cut flower on your entitlement tray.
~*~ I know that this is difficult to grasp but, try. We belt our pants around our *waist* and not our knees.
~*~ In that vein, I have no need to read your cock-wrinkles through your FAR TOO TIGHT pair of jeans, bucko.
~*~ Yes, I curse. No, I do not let my daughter curse. Fuck off.
~*~ I don’t care how good a time it is, if I can hear you through the walls as you pray to Jesus for just one more orgasm yesyesyes, I will send you along to make your request in person.
~*~ Oh, GOODY! Today’s track is an obstacle course. Let’s see, we have pull-up bars, incline crunch benches and my personal favorite – swerve around the giant pile of dog poo left in the middle of the trail. (What the HECK was that thing? Was it’s name Clifford?)
~*~ Please don’t make me regret my initial impulse to let you live.
~*~ Get off my lawn!