What is love?

What does love look like?

According to that video, love is badly dressed people running amok in a castle while an emotionless man lip-syncs his own song. Which I gotta believe, ain’t the truth of anything, much less amour.  So. What is love?

Now, that’s a serious question meant from a writer’s perspective. What does love, being in love, loving your mate…what do those look like to you?

I’m pretty sure that it doesn’t look like what you see on television. Here’s proof: those people kiss (passionately, even) first thing in the morning.
I don’t know what happens in your house?  But in mine there is teeth-brushing before there is tongue wrangling. Morning breath. Ew, ew, ew.


I know that for me, love is this constant, low hum of content. It is coming downstairs to find Mister Man stretched out on the couch and laying down on top of him to snuggle. (If I can get an “OOOF!” out of him, so much the better.) It is giggling together in the morning. It is nomming on his eyebrow – zombie camel kisses. Cheering when either spies the other naked. Talking about life – school, work, the Girl, bills. Bringing him a cup of coffee while he showers. It is always trying to resolve arguments before we go to bed.

Are all those things “normal” expressions of caring? Are they things that I should include in my stories? I have an extremely difficult time writing love scenes. I would much rather write about tentacles and murder and potentially undead bosses and drug use.

*reads that last sentence again*

…Maybe I can’t write a love scene because I am disturbed in some way.

Never, *EVER* Google the phrase "Tentacle Love" unless you are prepared for the consequences.







I figure that there must be some sort of learning curve on writing a believable (note I didn’t say “realistic”) love story. Where and how do you pick that particular skill up? Are there lessons taught by descendants of Rudolf Valentino? Does Cary Elwes show up in a black mask and a semi-attached mustache to be your Love Muse? Why the hell not?

I'll be your huckleber...excuse me, Muse.





One thought on “What is love?

  1. I don’t believe in love scenes. I believe in sex scenes. There are sex scenes that include love. There are sex scenes that don’t include love (and I really like writing angry hate sex).

    Love is sort of – too big to express in just one scene. Love is in the details. In glances, and bits of dialogue (but not specifically the words “I love you”), in body language, in actions. It doesn’t take one scene to establish or express love. It takes hundreds of tiny moments throughout the course of a piece (or a lifetime, as the case may be).

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