Health Abridged

I don’t know about you guys, but I must start a new fitness routine every few weeks. At least I am consistent with my wanting to be in better health. Just not with follow through on a particular method to get there.

I think overall that I am in pretty decent shape. I don’t have insurance*, so I can’t go and get a stem-to-stern checkup to say that authoritatively. But, I exercise at least three to four times a week for 40+ minutes (each, not total.) I eat more or less healthily and I rarely get into gunfights. This is not to say I wouldn’t like to have the peace of mind that kickass coverage provides. If something calamitous happened to me – or FSM forbid – my Girl, we would astronomically fucked. But I am doing my best to avoid said catastrophes**.

However, life happens. As it does. Often with !Surprise! visits from the Oh, Shit Fairy. We all know her. She’s the yanker of carpets out from under your feet. The power loss during the marathon writing session. A smack to the back of your head when you’ve done naught wrong except to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. She is merciless and has a vindictive sense of humor. The very best you can do is be as prepared as you can before she arrives with a bag of tacks for your chair and her IRS auditor boyfriend.

Boy, the tone of this just veered into a more serious note, eh?

. . .

But – and I mean this – while I am worried about insurance/health/the future, I am not obsessing about it.





Well, not very much.

I mean, there’s only so much freaking out about the future that you can realistically do. That’s why it’s the *future*. You just have no idea what is waiting around that corner. It could be anything!









Or not. The point is that you don’t know. Anyone who claims that they DO know is probably trying to sell you something.

Like a spurious health elixirs. Or a bridge.

This bridge, maybe.














* – nor a full-time gig, so no money for out-of-pocket exams.

“What does it have in its pocketses?”
“Not a goddamn thing, you greedy fuck.”

** – I don’t know about you guys, but have you noticed that many of the words that convey gigantic, tragic circumstances start with a “c”?

Main Entry: catastrophic  [kat-uh-strof-ik]
Definition: destructive
Synonyms: calamitous, cataclysmal, cataclysmic, catastrophal, disastrous, fatal, ruinous, tragic, carbohydrates, car-jacking, cardiac, cancer.

"C is for cholesterol. And mine's as high as can be!"

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