I must not fear.

I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.
 –Frank Herbert, Dune

I have to go to the dentist today. It’s just a cleaning and inspection of my teeth and problem area(s). No bigs, right? RIGHT?

*deep breath*

I am a 42 year old woman.
I have had two children.
Vaginally, bitches.
I have monthly headpain that would fell an elephant in its tracks.
I suffer from social /crowd anxiety and attend a large university.
Sans medication.
I have no reason to fear the dentist.


Open wide.

I will get my game face on, pull up my big-girl britches and go to the fucking dentist by myself. I will not hyperventilate. I will not punch anyone. I will not cry.

I will not.

Fear is the mind-killer.

7 thoughts on “I must not fear.

  1. Praying for you. Dental science has come a long way from when we were kids. You will be fine. You will survive.

    1. Thank you, love. I will be alright.
      I just really despise dentists. If ever Evil Overlords descend from space, subjugation on their minds? I would be willing to bet that they’re all wearing dental smocks.

  2. For me, it’s not the physical pain that freaks me out–it’s the exposure. It doesn’t get much more intimate than having someone poking around in your mouth. In some way, it’s worse even than the gyno because they’re right there in your FACE. Hope it went okay. 😉

    1. It went OK.
      The news was bad but I kind of expected that.

      BAD NEWS: On 2/14, I get to have two (2!!) root canals. One for each of the lower canines.

      GOOD (?) NEWS: I will be drugged into insensibility and therefore, will know nothing of what happens.

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