And I’m just done.
Done with a capital ‘fuck it.’
I had hoped that by adopting an abridged and not nearly so neurotic Fly-Lady inspired schedule of cleaning, that keeping house wouldn’t be so difficult.
Originally posted at
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The Process 
Throw away everything on the floor, even valuable clothes. Treat it all like trash. She does, after all. She is incapable of caring about the things she has, so maybe she’ll be able to cope if she has fewer things. Works for me, that’s for sure.
I may well. It just might take drastic to get this sorted.
My current plan is to spend 5-6 hours Every.Saturday cleaning the house, now. (Just like we did when I was her age.) This cutting into her reading/gaming/arting/texting/whatever time and being made to work might just make her a bit more sensitive to picking up after herself.
We’ll see.
To swing it back to her side, since I don’t now her situation when I was her age I was a messy kid, and didn’t tidy much until I hit my 20s, BUT it was because I couldn’t. I only had a child sized wardrobe and not enough coat hangers, but not the sense to realise it. So nothing could be put away, it all went on the floor (with accompanying screaming matches) but I was ignorant and my mother stupid, so the problem wasn’t resolved until I was 25 and realised I needed to buy coat hangers and shoe sorters n shit. Spent about a grand at Howard’s Storage world and now everything is tidy.
Also, as I said before – less stuff. The less stuff you have, the less stuff you have to keep tidy.
So, she might be a lazy, dirty typical teenager, or maybe she’s just overwhelmed.
Thank you for the ear. 🙂
She has plenty of space/storage means. She just doesn’t use them.
I even just recently caught up on all her laundry, gave it to her folded, in baskets.
One of which I found, in her closet with dirty clothing swirled in amongst the clean.
BLEAH.
So. We have talked and she is cleaning. I still don’t expect her bedroom to be as clean as I keep mine. However, dirty clothes go in hampers. Clean clothes get put away. Mom will not be doing her laundry anymore.
If she wants to smell clean – she will have to do it. I have posted laundry instructions near the washer.
And no more eating anywhere except in the kitchen for her.
Untidy I can do. Unhygienic is no bueno.
We can take care of major cleaning on Saturdays.
And to be fair – yes, I completely hated being told what to do when I was her age. What I am trying for is a way that isn’t the completely authoritarian style of my folks and yet not granola crunchy “oh your stomping on her creative bits by making her clean” style either.
Parenting am hard.
I had a boyfriend like that. I threw him out. I don’t s’pose that works on dependent minors. Throwing out her clothes means you have to buy her more clothes, where is her lesson or punishment in that?. Where I got with the ex was basically, I kept the common areas clean, all by myself, and let his stuff rot and stink in his computer room and bedroom. If he wanted clean clothes, it was his problem. take comfort, your kid will be at home for only a few more yrs.
*points up to reply on iibnf’s comment*
So, yeah.
And to answer your question, yeah throwing out her clothes is not really an option. She goes through them fast enough what with the growth spurts and the teenager thing and all.
What worked best for my family as a kid was a two part system. 1) my room was mine and could be kept anyway I liked it but my parents would not clean it for me, replace anything I damaged, or allow me to have friends over if my room didn’t meet general standards of neatness. 2) anything I left around the house went into the trash and anything related to chores I didn’t do (full garbage bags, dirty dishes) would be relocated to my room and left wherever they landed when my parents tossed them from the door (usually my bed). There was a brief week or so power struggle but the bugs and disgusting smell of my bed eventually got to me and my parents figured that if I wanted to live in a pigsty that was my issue.
Except she doesn’t smell herself.
She *does* have a new boyfriend though. And I have noticed a voluntary uptick in the deodorant / toothpaste usage.
Mayhaps there is hope for her. 😀
At any rate, we have reached a compromise of sorts. She still can’t have it filthy, though.
Because roaches = JIBBLIES for me.
I wish I had some advice for you. I was very messy and didn’t get the whole neat and tidy thing down until well into my thirties. My mother, however, is quite naturally neat.