8 Days a Month

 Earlier this morning, my Mom sent me this:

Queso, sera sera. Whatever will cheese will be...
Queso, sera sera. Whatever will cheese will be…

 I giggled and replied with, I may or may not have had cheese dip (with roast chicken leftovers stirred in) for lunch yesterday. 

SPOILER ALERT:  I totally did.  


 Of course, I am in the EAT ALL THE THINGS portion of my monthly cycle. Which, interestingly enough, coincides with the NOTHING FITS portion of it.”

Funny, right? 
It got me to thinking though. Because really, it’s true. I don’t know about other women, but the week right before (and sometimes a day or two into) my period, I suddenly turn into Prymaat Conehead.

I will enjoy it.
I will enjoy it.

SOURCE: http://www.quickmeme.com/meme/3ue503

There is a burning need to consume mass quantities, usually of the salty, greasy variety.

Sometimes I amaze even myself.
Sometimes I amaze even myself.

Leftover Hawaiian pizza w/a lightly fried egg on top. Yes, I made and ate this. Don’t judge.

I can stop anytime.

But, why?  Why does this happen? Am I the only one that is like this?  Am  I doomed to a bigger pant size every month (other than that caused by bloating)?

I know that I have written about period things before. And maybe some of you guys are tired of reading about it.
“I know you have it, but do we have to actually *talk* about it?” 
“Can we just pretend that it doesn’t exist?”
“It’s just so…”

I'll just leave this right here, 'kay?
I’ll just leave this right here, ‘kay?

SOURCE: http://www.thefightnation.com/warning-this-article-is-all-about-uriah-halls-gross-looking-broken-toe/

Too bad.
No, seriously.  If your body did weird and gross things every.single.month you’d want to discuss it at some length, too. Especially if part of the whole process added an extra $45 per month to your grocery bill.

Mmm. Cheeeesey.
Mmm. Cheeeesey.

SOURCE:   http://thoughtcatalog.com/christine-stockton/2014/02/haters-gonna-hate-but-heres-26-pictures-of-freaking-amazing-looking-nachos/

And not the good-for-you sorts either.

So why? Why do we suddenly decide that binge eating for the week or so before a period is a good idea?

Turns out, that at least some of it is caused by a hormone called progesterone.

I hate you luteal phase.
I hate you luteal phase.

SOURCE: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Progesterone

This little bad boy, right here, is a mean appetite stimulant.

 As it turns out, it also causes you to store salt and water, which leads to bloating. All of which tells me that it isn’t the queso so much causing my expanded waist size 8 days a month. It’s the hormones.

2 thoughts on “8 Days a Month

  1. Got to have the period talk with my daughter, this morning. Quote “That’s DISGUSTING!!!” I couldn’t really disagree with her, especially when she started calling hormones ‘invisible puppetmasters’. Yup. Pretty much. 🙂

    1. Your daughter is brilliant. 😀
      I may have to create a T-shirt design with the above chemical formula for progesterone with tiny strings leading down to a silhouetted bevy of female forms.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s