Past Present

A present of the past! Get it? Ge....oh, nevermind.
A present of the past! Get it? Ge….oh, nevermind.


Last night, in a fit of  – we’ll call it productivity, I’m sure my therapist would have another word for it  – I imported all of my old LiveJournal entries into this blog.

Some of these entries are really good. Most of them are terrible. All of them are somewhat embarrassing. But, today I plan on going through each of them and figuring out what can stay, what can go, and in some cases, what sorts of international laws I might have broken.


I Will Title This Later

It has been an exciting1 few weeks around Chez Bon.

Soon after the holidays, Mister Man started to look a little peaked, a touch pale. And then a downright pasty gray. Turns out that he was very ill – in the “Yeeeeeeeeeeah, we’re gonna need to put some extra blood2 in him and keep him for a week, mmmkay?”

Apparently, when one is on Coumadin, one shouldn’t take Advil oh at all. Even if you ARE a nurse and you DO know what you’re doing. Because blood thinners plus ibuprofen equals bleeding ulcer.

Oh, what the fuck EVER.

Cheesuz pleezus.

Anywho, we’re home. Mister Man is fine, albeit a bit chagrined. He has new meds to take and has to go back to the doctor every week until the cows come home, Hallelujah and pass the co-pay.
Oh, except, oops – new job. His insurance has not yet kicked in.

Joy and trumpets, as a friend of mine used to say.

In the meanwhile, I’m still looking for a job. I’d like one in the field that I ran up a ton of debt for, but at this point am looking for damn near anything, up to and including house cleaning, pizza delivery, and substitute school teaching.
A dear friend gave my resume a look-over and made some suggestions. I am mid-implementing them.

I guess what I am trying to say is that no, I have not forgotten you, dear blog. Things just exploded in painfully exciting new ways and I’m still sorting the collateral damage.

Boom, baby.

In the meantime, here is a bit of a story that I wrote eons ago. If I have already posted it – I apologize. I would look but it’s ten ‘til midnight and I’m a touch exhausted.
Much love to you all.


Laurel panted, clinging to the side-rail of the hospital bed. Her whole body ached with the exertion of the birth. Her avid eyes watched the nurses carrying her baby back and forth. She knew in some small, less exhausted corner of her mind that they were doing important tasks with Jocelyn. Probably important. Still, she wanted her baby.  She wanted her without understanding exactly why. She thought about that for a moment. Didn’t she love her baby? Weren’t all mothers automatically in love with their babies? What was wrong with her?  Was she broken? Did the birth break something in her head? A wall of green and purple snails moved in front of her, blocking her view of Jocelyn, ending the tired chase of her thoughts. She tipped her head back to see a nurse standing there.

“Hey, sugar. That was a hard one, hmm?”  A large hand, covered in blue nitrile, tucked a sweaty braid behind her ear.  “I got something for you. Thirsty?”  A straw bumped against her lips, her slack hand molded around cold plastic. Laurel sucked on the straw.  Slightly watered-down apple juice squirted into her mouth.  For a split second, Laurel forgot her exhaustion. For a moment there was only the cool, sweet juice. In seconds, the cup was empty. She looked up at the nurse to thank her and saw a pink-swaddled caterpillar in the nurse’s arms. Black hair escaped the top of the blanket.

She took her baby from the nurse, tucking her hand automatically under Jocelyn’s butt.  Her thoughts began to rabbit around her head again. What if the nurses noticed her lack?  What if she hurt the baby because of her inability to love her? She gazed down at Jocelyn, trying to frame an apology. Puffy eyes gazed blearily up at her. A tiny pink mouth yawned toothless pink gums at her.  She bent her head down to place a tentative kiss on the mottled cheek. Warm-caramel baby smell wafted up.  Laurel felt every emotion concentrate down to a piercing sun in her heart.  The nurses smiled at each other and quietly left the room.


I hope the tone of this doesn’t make you guys think things are all doom and gloom here. As I said, it’s just been a waterfall of happenings. We’ll muddle through and get things back to what passes for normal around here. I just wanted to touch base and give you an update. I still plan on writing my bits and pieces, processing out my thoughts and words. I still have a major overhaul, with much new content added, planned.


1– And by “exciting” I mean “craptastic”.

2– Six bags thereof.