Halp, halp. I’m being depressed.

Flippant title is not meant to be insulting. I was just amused by the rhyme and how it fit in with my current mental situation.
-The Mgmt

I read a really interesting article yesterday. It had to do with how people who are struggling with mental illness(es) often lead dual lives. A photographer, who also suffers from depression, is doing a beautiful series called “Dualities” that seeks to show the inner and outer faces of what living without endless spoons is truly like.

I thought about this article for a long time. I don’t know that  I would classify myself as having a mental illness, per se. I am easily overwhelmed and I suffer a form of social anxiety with large crowds or unknowns. I get hysterically furious if I am startled and it takes a good bit to calm down from hearing people bark at me in anger. But never have I been given The Diagnosis(tm, pat pending) from doctors or therapii1.

I wondered what my portraits would like, if she did them. I think that they would look something like this.


BON_has a sad again
The house has become chaos, the chaos overwhelms, and things pile up but there is no energy to do them, even getting out of bed is a chore to be dreaded. Crying takes too much energy, better to just hobbit-up and pretend that everything is OK.


close up
Everything is sparkly and gay and full of laughter. Wit and energy bubble up and crash over everything, leaving a mirth residue and completed writings. Eventually it all gets away from center and wholesome energy becomes chaos and then we precede to LEFT, again.
It isn’t always this bad, but it can be if I am not careful. Prolonged stress and/or illness make it worse. Not writing makes even more hideous.I have  been in a place of no writing, no exercising, no time to de-stress. This, I truly believe, is part of what caused my usually kickass immune system to seek companionship with a flu; sort of like a belligerent and lonely drunk picking fights in a bar.
I’ll get back to working on it. Strangely enough, the enforced rest has done wonders for the stress. I’m still a little freaked, but everything doesn’t seem so fucking LOOMING as it has been.

My mental place is what it is, and I am working on it as I can.

1 – “Therapii” is the plural form, of course.

The Real Superheroes

Good morning readers.



Yesterday I was going to put up some Marvel Superhero Classic RPG characters of mine. I had been chatting with a friend, discussing how characters look different through the lens of puberty. I had offered to show her some of mine as I had been gaming for nigh-thirty years. Watching them shift from power builds to role-play builds (and the ones I have had continuously through those years got more Kleenex-driven as I aged) was interesting.


However, I got sidetracked by all the political brouhaha that was happening around the SCOTUS decision vis-à-vis Hobby Lobby.


To be clear, I am NOT a particularly political person. And this is most definitely not a political blog. I know what my feelings are on a given subject, but I cannot discuss with any degree of competence the intricacies of American political structure.

That being said, what SCOTUS did was absolute and utter bullshit. Not only have they1 again decided that “Welp, them wimmens shore don’t know a thang ‘bout whut their bodies do. Let’s thank for ‘em,”2 but they have opened the floodgates for other less-ethical Big Business3 to use this loophole (and find $deity!) to make their bottom lines look better.

In frighteningly predictable manner, the public female figures who have spoken out against the decision have been harassed, called ‘whores’ or worse, and just in general made to feel less than human. Apparently 4,  women wanting some kind of control over their own bodies, their own reproductive rights, and the ability to say “no” to men is seen by some as an affront. No, I’m not going link any of that here, because ew. I don’t want to spread the hate that seems to be flowing from people who claim they believe in a loving $deity.

Instead, I am going to link to some awesome women who are politically savvy.  May I recommend Jessica Valenti, Ebony Stewart, Amanda Marcotte, Rachel Maddow,  Mikki Kendall as well as many others?  They rock, they talk, and they’re not afraid to tell you like it is. 


Find joy in your life. Live your life. Don’t give in to bullshit, don’t give in to hate. We have too little time to fuck around with being hateful.








1– Our government – and more explicitly, the male GOP section of our government – seems determined to set back human rights to a more feudal age.

2 – With apologies to all people of fantastic intelligence who speak in this manner; I’m sure that there are a couple of you. My upbringing around rural Texas indicates otherwise, but I am surely not an expert.  

3Hoohahahahaha, bwahahahah, *snortGASP* hahahahahaha! “Ethical Big Business!”  Hahahahahahahahaaaaaaaa!

4 – From antecdotal evidence seen on my Twitter feed and in oh, EVERY comments section dealing with these issues, ever. 

I See You

Pre-coffee pondering1:  I thought Facebook was supposed to be a social media? That it should actively encourage people to interact with one another. Instead, empirical evidence suggests that it is more of an acknowledgement tool.

People post something and then others ‘like’ or ” 🙂 ” their words. This is not necessarily a bad thing, being acknowledged as having said something is also important. But it, I think, misses at least some of the point of social media, and Facebook in particular.

And all of this was brought on by seeing people (myself included) ask questions on their wall – and have people ‘like’ the comment and say nothing.  ImageOr, in response to said question, people smiley-face and/or *HUG*!



ImageI’m equally guilty of this. I think, or rather, it often is for me, a way to say “ooh, I hear you and Imma answer you, but cute kittens/puppies are the greatest thing ever!”





Anyway, I didn’t have a solution or anything. I was just drinking my coffee while reading FB and happened to notice a thing.


1 – Under-caffeination is a serious affliction. Won’t you please help?