I work in a cool, dry environment**. There is (literally) a metric ass-ton of electronics in here. Resting on metal wire shelves. Cords hang everywhere; overhead, across the tile floor, looped around the shelves to try to keep them out of the footpath (ha ha ha).
I often escape the lab to get a cup of coffee. To do this, I must leave via the electro-magnetically-locked door O’Doom. with the metal handle. Generally speaking , I touch the wooden door itself in a vain attempt to try and ground out the ambient energy. It rarely works.
Today I pulled a goddamn six inch arc off the handle. People across the lab heard it pop. This is over the white noise of said metric ass-ton of electronic equipment running, shrieking, hissing, popping, and ringing. I leaped around for a solid 10 seconds doing “jesus fucking balded headed bleeding christ” dance. You know the one. You see it at mosh pits, occasionally.
I am THIS close to removing the handle from that damn door. I am tired of being lit up like an Xmas tree.
* – No, not a death metal band. But, they SHOULD be.
** – 62F in the lab, at all times. The rest of the building is also dry but is ridiciously overheated.
The Process 
Try touching the metal bench nearest you before you get up to walk around. You’ll discharge the static you’ve built up as you’ve sat in your chair moving around doing work, and the zaps won’t be so bad.
Here’s the sad/freaky part….or one of them, anyway:
I do. I touch the wire racks on my way to the door. There is no way for me to avoid touching them getting out of my lab space. I STILL am a Zap-O-Matic.
And of course, my labmates think its *funny*. If I am going to generate this much damn voltage, then I want some of the superpower to go with it, damnit. I’ll even wear the anime goggles on the top of my head to make it look more natural. 😀
If you could just figure out a way to make a 6″ arc hit one of THEM, maybe they wouldn’t laugh so much after that.
You could probably make a case to whoever’s in charge of IT that there’s a static problem if it’s that bad. Remember, static discharge does horrible things to electronics, like burn out circuits and wipe flash-based memory devices.
Oh, IT knows. There is not much that they can do to mitigate it in this building. And honestly? I am the worst of the static generators. I think I may get one of those little bracelet guys to wear.
static discharge does horrible things to electronics
Which is why I try to never touch the electronics without I first touch the rack.
Its just particularly bad in the winter.
Just listen for the bzzzwot!
You could wear less wool/nylon/polyester…?
Everyone here is wearing mostly cotton (I don’t buy clothing that isn’t at least 60% cotton for ANYONE in the house), and we’re not having as many problems with static as you might think. My daughter’s hair does amusing things at times, but we’re not Shock City or anything like that here.
Then I have no idea what to tell you. I think the handle just hates you with a burning passion of a thousand flaming suns on fire.
…the flames are also on fire.
That was me, not – I was pointing out that maybe your tactic could help. 🙂
(We have carpets in more than half the house, if anyone wanted that data point added to the mess.)
I realized that about ten seconds after I pushed post. Still, I believe it still rings true.
Like, everyone has their own special anti-super-power, and this is ‘s?
(Mine this month seems to be not being able to get organizational things done because the universe keeps throwing me for a loop. This morning, it was a toe contusion, almost certainly not broken, but hurting very annoyingly and slowing me down.)
Everyone has their own little superpower too. Mine’s “getting dry inordinately quickly.” My wife’s is better and is even moderately useful: she knows a song’s lyrics (or at least its chorus) if she’s heard it at least twice.
FiL was an EE that had to have one of those little bracelet things, and he put his watch on it and used it as a watchband, rather than deal with 2 things on his wrist at once. I thought it was a very clever solution. (MiL hated it. MiL is SOOOOOOO not a geek. The rest of us are, and don’t understand her objection to all sorts of things that make perfect sense from the practical geek POV.)
Yeah, it’s been static season at Chez Cabal23…but I have a bad habit of accidently grounding myself on the fuzzy roommates. The cats seem to accept it as the price of having a longhaired human, but poor Arwen…he really has no idea why this happens. He’s been biting me less though, guess getting a zap in the teeth when biting someone is less than fun. Poor feezle.
*nod*
Its not as bad at home — maybe the wood floors help?
But I have popped poor Macha on the nose reaching down for a rub. She just rolls her eyes, blats and ambles away.
Oh, and LOL-feezle.
My poor dog will sometimes stand on her hindlegs to lick my chin and shock her tongue.
Yeah, I’m all carpet. And I seem to generate static by just breathing, so just call me The Amazing Electro-Fox
TENTACLE FOX!!!!!
You rang ?
Just my icon ? *sniff*
well and you too, of course!
Yay!!! *hugs and tentacles*
Perhaps if Lords Of Static is should be a metal band, “Cool, Dry Environment” should be a detached, arty German techno collective.
*snort*
Yes.
And during concerts they would all stand perfectly still with absolutely no emotion on their faces as they sang of the love that left them for a new star system and that they don’t care but secretly, they do.
Would one of these mats be in your department’s budget? Barring that, there’s this thing.
The mat would be nigh useless as I ground on the rack next to my desk…walk five steps and generate enough electricity to power a small Bolivian city.
But the little doo-hickey on the keyring? ZOMGWANT.
Riase the humidity in the room.
Also carry a key or a metal wire, touch the wire or key to the metal door first, this will transfer the arc from you and it will be less shocking.
posted about a little thingie that I have serious lust for now.
That is an awesome looking doohicky
One spray bottle with a 5:1 ratio of de-ionised water and fabric softener – spritz over the carpet in the test room. Repeat once a month.
Bye, static. Approved for DOD use in NORAD, so says my Dad.
Also, hold your keys and use those to ground yourself. Larger surface area on your skin = far less zappitude.
This comment so ended up in the wrong place. I plead Teh Dumb.
I have the same problem with static. Depending on the shape of your door handle, a silicon sleeve designed to go over hot skillet handles works quite well. Of course, you’ll just zap yourself on your car door.
Maybe a silicon pot holder you can carry with you everywhere? You can name it and talk to it all of the time, and guarantee plenty of personal space on the elevator.
talking on ‘vators
Heh…I’m sorely tempted.
Darn, you make me jealous. I’ve only ever managed to do three inches myself. My husband makes sure to ground himself before he kisses me, otherwise he gets shocked so bad he can feel in the roots of his teeth.
It was spectacularly pretty and painful sight. 😀
Apt comic
Looks like you already got enough practical advice, so instead I point you at today’s strip from the Devils Panties (It’s not satanic porn) as it seems particularly topical.
http://devilspanties.keenspot.com/d/20080124.html
Re: Apt comic
*snickers* I hadn’t looked at The Devil’s Panties in a long while.
I had my keys in my hand as I was walking in this morning. I got to the Door, touched my keys (no shock, YAY!), reached for the handle and pulled a small arc. I think I am just doomed.
Hopefully, electricity is good for your brain or something. 😀