Dear Stupid Body,

You are not funny.
You are not even remotely amusing. Furthermore, I do NOT have time for your antics. I mean, c’mon…a head and chest cold right before a double birthday weekend (with dancing and Six Flags plotted)? That’s not even original, man!

You suck,

~the Mgmt

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Dear Asinine People in Remote Work Locations,

Fix the fucking Cisco router. I’ve been trying to test the same thing for three days now. This is supposed to be working for OUR CUSTOMERS.

I hate stupidity,

~Ticked off SQA engineer

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Dear Chex-Mix Cereal Makers,

Strawberry Chex is the best thing ever. It is especially yummy with walnuts, flax seed and cranberries tossed in.
I could wish that it stayed a little crunchier in milk but, eh no biggie.

You’ve likely saved an IT guy’s life,
~less pissy SQA engineer

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Dear People on the Way into Work This Morning,

Apparently you left the crack at home. I am so *proud* of you guys. If you don’t fuck it up tomorrow then we can go and get ICE CREAM!

Yay,
~Angry Commuter Chick

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Dear Cats Who Live in My House and Upon my Sufferance,

The next time you guys:

rip open the trash
barf on something expensive
claw the furniture
poop right outside the CLEAN catbox
or play the Plains of Serengeti over and around the Big People’s bed in the middle of the night – esp. when one of the Big People is fucking miserable sick

I will *personally* flay your hides and put the rest in a sacrificial pie for the Elder Gods. I have HAD it with you monsters.

Love and Scritches,
~She who is a sucker for the Big Eyes(tm) routine but is up to HERE with the bad behavior.