1. My uncle once: showed up to a family reunion on his motorcycle with a bowl of macaroni salad balanced on his lap.

2. Never in my life: jumped out of a plane.

3. When I was five: I had bright red hair.

4. High school was: fun but not terribly educational.

5. I will never forget: that mixing hard and soft booze is a bad, BAD idea.

6. Once I met: austingoddess, I knew I had a friend for life.

7. There’s this girl I know: who routinely sends me whacky pics of herself and various baked goods.

8. Once, at a bar: I drank! Wooohooo, I am teh REBEL!!

9. By noon, I’m usually: already anxious to leave work.

10. Last night: was full of unusual news.

11. If only I had: enough saved dollars so I didn’t have to work while I go to school.

12. Next time I go to church: pigs will be streaming across the sky in aerodynamic v-shaped fighter squadrons.

13. What worries me most: the amount of power the general populace of US has just *given* to the government.

14. When I turn my head left I see: a web-tastic scrabble of cables and wires.

15. When I turn my head right I see: a rack full of telecommunication systems and servers.

16. You know I’m lying when: I say, “My childhood was completely happy and full of sunshine and roses”.

17. What I miss most about the Eighties is: All the graphic novels/books/comic books that I had. I had quite the impressive library back when I wasn’t paying for it.

18. If I were a character in Shakespeare I’d be: In a completely different play than anything Bill wrote.

19. By this time next year: my kid will have turned double-digits. A tween, gods help us all.

20. A better name for me would be: one that I don’t vaguely hate.

21. I have a hard time understanding: anyone who can perpetrate violence against children.

22. If I ever go back to school, I’ll: I am in school, you nitwit.

23. You know I like you if: I bake brownies for you.

24. If I ever won an award, the first person I would thank would be: depends on who helped me (if any) and what it was for.

25. Take my advice, never: think that cinnamon schnapps and woman’s naughty bits are anything other than a *bad* combination.

26. My ideal breakfast is: migas with chipotle salsa & corn tortillas

27. A song I love but do not have is: unlikely.

28. If you visit my hometown, I suggest you: go to some of the parks around here.

29. Why won’t people: just do what I say the first fucking time?

30. If you spend a night at my house: I’d feed you an awesome dinner.

31. I’d stop my wedding for: not getting married any time in the foreseeable future.

32. The world could do without: cockroaches.

33. I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: Argh, fucking nothing!

34. My favorite blond is: my short person.

35. Paper clips are more useful than: fish?

36. If I do anything well it’s: causing feng shui to happen in my own house.

37. I can’t help but: do the BELLYBELLYBELLY squeal when I see D’s tummy. [shaddup]

38. I usually cry: quietly. That’s one lesson learned, thx.

39. My advice to my child/nephew/niece: Your Mom/Dad are absolute whackjobs over the whole “neat house” thing. You really wanna get under their skin during your rebellious years? Leave dirty clothes on the floor of the bathroom. That is far worse than anything you could ever do to them.

40. And by the way: I am truly, truly bored at work today.