Month: June 2013

Bonus Post: Endorphin Is Your Friend, Mmmmkay?

~ Bon Steele ~ 1 Comment

Sometimes, sadness just whaps you upside the head. And then you gotta remember something very import.

Ready?

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You?
Yes, you. You are so stupendously awesome; I just don’t even know where to begin.

Don’t let your brain tell you things that aren’t true. The next time it gets up to its stupid shenanigans? Strap on a pair of running shoes and head out the front door. Between the sweating and the huffing and the puffing, you won’t have time to really mull over just how you’ve fucked up everyone’s life.

Plus, about minute 15 or so? Something magical happens.

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Oh, baby baby. Talk peptides to me.

Seriously. Trust me on this one. Your brain is a bitch. But, she’s a bitch with access to all the really good stuff.  Promise.

For me, I find the added bonus of training to not get eaten by zombies major fun. That’s me, though. I run with Zombies! Run5K trainer.

Tonight we had the following stats and music:

Distance: 2.64 mi
Duration: 43:09
Average Speed: 3.75 mi/h
Average Pace: 15:59 min/mi

Tonight, we dine in Hell. Or Torchy’s. Whichever.

~ Bon Steele ~ Leave a comment

I feel…I don’t know.

Out of sorts, bitchy?
Like something is very awry.
Impending doom.

Tonight, we dine in Hell. Or Torchy’s. Whichever.

~ Bon Steele ~ 5 Comments

I feel…I don’t know.

Out of sorts, bitchy?
Like something is very awry.
Impending doom.

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Just a matter of time…

I am for the most part, very happy. Things are ongoing in my life that are full of awesome; there is a sense of a shell being stripped off and discarded. A recognition of needs and wants that I have suppressed due to a fear of…

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Ha, ha, ha. Isn’t anxiety fucking FUN?

You know, I don’t even have a name for it.  Just a fear, that paralyzed the whole of me.

But that sense of lack, of not enough, is starting to fade. It’s like taking off clothing decorated with 80# weights.

I can’t even begin to describe the relief.

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There’s a liiiiight…over at the Frankenstein place.
Wait. Wrong musical.

But today? Today, I am feeling like maybe those clothes are necessary.1 That I should be wearing those clothes. To hide. To be less. To be quiet, sit down, what the fuck do you THINK you are doing, you don’t deserve anything…blah blah blah, old tapes, ad infinitum, ad nauseum.

Seriously, Anxiety?
Knock it off.

We are fine. We are just approaching lightspeed.

This is just the pre-flight jitters, Self. These free floating bits of worry? Are just the nasty old tapes in your head breaking apart, disintegrating.

Approaching lightspeed.

1– I KNOW.