angst and woe

A Reminder

~ Bon Steele ~ 1 Comment

Looking for a job?
Is hard. It is work, and it takes a lot out of a person.

I have to imagine that it is different for young college grads. But, if you are like me – a non-traditional student coming out with her undergrad degree at the ripe “old” age of 44? It can be a bit intimidating.

Especially if you haven’t worked since you started your college career.

I know I will find a job, and a good one. I am too good at what I do not to.
But the winnowing process – both on my part, as well as the potential employers’ – will be difficult.

I just have to buck up. 
We’ll beat that slope. Together.  ;D

New Paradigm is Hard

~ Bon Steele ~ 3 Comments

Even just a measly hundred words a day is hard. Especially after so long a silence. I wish I could say it was all navel gazing and introspection, but the truth is more benign and insidious than that.

Writing – even slapdash blog writing – is hard. Especially if you have any sort of anxiety. what if it’s wrong?  what if its stupid? what if, what if, what if????? 

You get comfortable in silence. You get complacent.

Except for that small, quiet, writery part in the back of your brain.

WHY AREN’T YOU WRITING?

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG?

OMG, DID YOU SEE THAT? WE SHOULD TOTES WRITE ABOUT THAT!!!!

 

What all those exclamation points and intentions are missing is the aftermath. Writer Brain cares *snap, double snap, triple snap with SFFFT WHATEVS BABE* about aftermath.  It is all about writing it down.
Anxiety Brain? Cares a lot. A LOT.
what if i piss someone of?
what if I do something wrong?
is this even good, anyhow? who’d read THIS garbage?

 

Dear Anxiety Brain,

 

Um. I mean no offense. But?  Could you? I mean, maybe for just a bit?
Just…um…FUCK OFF FOR A WHILE?

’cause that’d be awesome, yeah.

 

Alllllll the love
<none really>
~The Mgmt

 

 

PS

I’m trying. Bear with me?

Title, Optional

~ Bon Steele ~ 1 Comment

*taps mic gently*

 

~FEEDBACK WHINE~

 

*wince*

Oh, er.
Um. Hi.  As you may – or not, as the case may be – have noticed, I haven’t written on this thing for a long while. There are a plethora of reasons, but mostly it has just been a distinct lack of energy.

I am working things, again.
Anxiety, depression, losing the writing Zen, and not letting everyday life overwhelm me to the point of hermitdom (of a variety of forms).
Anywho, as part of my author-Zen reclamation, I am going to attempt to write on here, every day.
Not huge amounts. Just…a bit. A hundred words a day for a bit. Then two hundred. And so, and so forth. I’m not promising that I will always make a post, at such and thus time, every day.
But, I do promise to make the attempt.