She consistently brings teh funnay :

BFF: Hazards of a geek job #52: eating at your desk and accidentally buttering your test scripts
Mare: *laugh* Oh, jesus. I think I just peed on myself.
BFF: yay me!
Mare: *snort*
Mare: I am about to put an “ad” on LJ for massage services (from me).
BFF: how is your skin?
Mare: ouchie
Mare: I can send you a piccie if you like
Mare: it was about the color of a doctor pepper can
BFF: lol…no, I’ve seen the friend Bon
BFF: fried
Mare: either works.
Mare: you may now call me Dr Pepper Ass.
BFF: so you were at a kids’ thing…how did your *ass* get burned?
Mare: laying on tummy and drying out.
BFF: Excuse me. You were at a kids’ thing. How did you get your ass burned, Dr Pepper Ass?
BFF: we gots etiquette ’round here
Mare: *snort* Laying on mah tum whilst I dried and watching the kidlet swim some more.
BFF: *sigh* I’m sorry to hear that, Dr Pepper Ass. Or can I just call you Dr Ass, seein’ as we know each other?
BFF: or is there a hyphen?
Mare: *laugh* I *will* send you pics
Mare: So, what script did you butter?
BFF: *looks under potato* The all-important pre-test setup and post-load reminder.
BFF: don’t want to have them to the historical conversion of a crapton of data and say “Did it work?” And me going, “UhUHUhUh.”
Mare: I can see that.
Mare: PSA…. do NOT shift your buns in your chair if they are crispy
Mare: that’s just a baaaaaad idear
BFF: Health advice from Dr Ass.
BFF: Now i’ve got Dr Tran in my head.
BFF: Dr Ass…she’s a *real* doctor!
BFF: With a PhD in BURNING YOUR ASS!
Mare: So, what’s on tap for you today?
BFF: neighborhood meeting. And I haven’t a *thing* to wear.
Mare: May I suggest a leather corset and a crop? It will get the right sort of idea across immediately.
BFF: At the local Baptist church auxiliary building? That very much depends on your definition of ‘right’.
Mare: Obedience is what I was shooting for.
BFF: I could dress up as Jebus.
BFF: My sons and daughters, attend my words and removeth the neighbor’s car from their front yard, for yea and verily, it is a heavy burden on My soul.
Mare: not terribly believable.
Mare: according to their myths
BFF: My hair’s long enough!
Mare: you aren’t blonde or blue eyed.
Mare: (even tho he was a Jew)
Mare: but *shrugs*
BFF: Nah – Jebus was a white man from Oxford. Brown/brown, 6′, slim/athletic.
Mare: what? did you read His personal ad in the Chronicle or something? “Like to hook up w/local whore…really nice Guy, swings thru town occasionally. ”
BFF: exactly 🙂
BFF: Loves to go hiking, hanging out with friends, going out to dinner, winemaking, living simply.
BFF: Just looking for friends.
Mare: Must love to wash feet with hair
BFF: Kind of a gypsy free-spirit type. Spiritual, not religious. Questions authority. Enjoys hanging out with people from all backgrounds.
BFF: Part-time magician and cook.
BFF: Can make bread and fish go a long ways.
Mare: Please no bankers or pawn shop owners
BFF: Zealous religious types or government workers.
BFF: Samaritans OK.
Mare: Please respond to BigJay@trinity.edu
BFF: Please be real.
Mare: *snerkle*
BFF: this is destined for LJ, isn’t it?
Mare: yep.