Dear Loving Boyfriend-Type*,

Thank you EVER so, for the snot monsters currently living in my sinuses. I appreciate your generosity in sharing. The next time you kiss me while you’re sick, I will hack something off with a chainsaw.

No Love,
~Grumpy Mare

I can’t take anything with pseudoephedrine in it because I am sensitive to it. So breathing is going to be a “learning experience”. Woo.

* – who works as a nurse in the largest county hospital for miles. He gets exposed to shit that makes astronauts tremble.