I was dreaming of shaving my legs this morning when a lightning bolt of deargodi’msorrywhatdididotodeservethis pain shot up my leg. For a moment, I was confused – still dreaming – but my body woke me up very quickly.

BRAIN: You should get up.
ME: *mumble* it’s seven thirty. Piss off.
RIGHT LEG: Naw, we got this Brain ole buddy. Point her big toe some more towards her knee, there willya tendons? I’ll grab that pinkie and see if I can’t make it touch her sole.
RIGHT HIP: Hey! Can we get in on this? See what I can do with that forward hip flexor!

Creamy Cthulhu on crispy crackers. Mental note, self. More stretching before bed. Plus a banana and a giant glass of water. Anything. Just No More of that waking up to a cramp, please.