angst and woe

That’s Nice….Now What?

~ Bon Steele ~ 7 Comments
A small post in which I let off some steam via ranting about a recent conversation.

Monday, all my Finals are belong to you.

And really? Thank goodness. I mean, if only from a clean-and-neat point of view I’d like my desk back.

My slovenliness. Let me show it to you.

 

I’d also like my brain, my fiction, my clean laundry as something other than an afterthought, and my sanity back.

Of course, that last one is unlikely. I do have a teenage daughter, after all.

WUT?

As I sat down to my1 desk this morning, I pondered the reasons that I am going through all of this. I mean – there has to be a good rationale behind my decision to pursue my degree at my semi-advanced age, right?
To wander a giant campus full of people2 that I don’t know?
To put myself through this sturm und drang?
As I’ve been recently asked, “What is the point of getting the degree? What are you going to do with it?”

Umm.
Display it on the wall? Be proud of myself for finishing something that I started? Round out my education and my knowledge? Discover new ways of thinking?

Apparently, those aren’t good reasons. No. There must be a fiscal explanation. A path that leads from classroom to bank, as it were.

I mean, really.
What are you going to do with the degree?
What are your Plans for the Future?
What are you going to DO WITH IT?

Man. That all sounds like lyrics from a terrible 80’s power ballad. Heh. Or a Prince song.  Think about the future!

Basically, you’re asking what I want to be when I grow up, right? Because that’s what the underlying message here is. I’m in school therefore technically I am not an adult. And why? Because I am not currently earning a living.

Not earning a living = Not an adult.

What an utter crock.

Here’s a quick overview of what I can do with my Bachelors of Arts, Professional Writing focus with a minor in Psychology, you pompous asshat.

I like my answer better, though.

 

1 – really, astonishingly messy – the picture does NOT do it justice
2 – The whole cartoon is fabulous. Do yourself a favor. Go watch.

Defect Report

~ Bon Steele ~ 17 Comments
This is your TMI warning.



  • Name of Reporter:  Bon Steele
  • Version or Build:  Unknown, no backend documentation provided with build
  • Module or component:  Female, uterine and associated bits
  • Platform / Operating System:  Human
  • Type of error: Design Flaw
  • Priority:  Major
  • Severity: High
  • Status:  Entered (again)
  • Summary: Intermittent Hardware Issues Across Multiple Platforms
  • Description: Varied behaviors across different platforms. [Please see Defect Behavior.]

Design Flaw Report

Intermittent Hardware Failure(s) Across Multiple Platforms

Steps to reproduce vary according to platform. Some users are reporting a 28-day cycle with regular and reproducible errors. Other users are stating that the defect happens sporadically, with no fixed pattern. We also have reports where the defect happens in a continual manner.

In these instances, the user often requires a patch to maintain normal functioning.

DEFECT BEHAVIOR

  • Fluid leakage
    • Occasional detritus, in some cases
  • Discomfort within the main system
    • In many cases, pain at a 6 or better has been reported.
      [Please see accompanying diagram.]
  • Accompanying failures of systems
    • Intestinal is the most reported
  • Discomfort and/or malfunction of critical systems
    • Headache
    • Muscle fatigue and/or pain, often at a 4 or better.
      [Please see accompanying diagram.]
  • Endocrine and/or hormonal fluctuations
    • These can create a multitude of issues including (but not limited to):
      • Irrational behavior
      • Unstable fuel consumption
      • Chassis covering eruptions
      • Interrupted down time or broken sleep functionality
RECCOMENDATIONS

We recommend pulling this functionality from production until these issues have been resolved.

PAIN DIAGRAM

Thesarus

~ Bon Steele ~ 5 Comments

I long. Oh. So much.
I don’t have the right way to say it. How big that longing is. How encompassing. I can’t tell you about how elusive it is. It is something that dances just a hairsbreadth from my fingers, though. It is right there.
I reach for it. I grasp and pull and sometimes get a hand on it.  And then it slithers away.
I curse and cry and rail. I am despondent for days. Huddled in a corner, thinking desperate, jagged thoughts.
Wishing for a glass head, where I could see them. See the words whole and complete. Find a way to shake them out like pepper onto paper. So many black flecks with ideas and plots and dialogue and meaning.
I emerge eventually. Sometimes I am refreshed and ready. Sometimes I am cynical. Sometimes I am joyous. Or angry and bitter. Often I am all of that, all at once.

Because I am made to see again that the words never, ever abandoned me.
I left them.