I had posted on my FB a semi-grump, something along the lines of “Morning. It’s Monday.”
And one of my good friends challenged me. “That it is,” she said. “And?”
Well, I feel sheepish.
Because, yeah. It IS Monday. And just what is wrong with that? It is the start of another week. One in which I am upright, facing (more or less) forward and getting things done. Is everything perfect?
Well, no. Not so much.
BUT, things do seem to be moving in a good direction.
And believe me, I will take that.
“Hey, isn’t this supposed to be a boulder?” “Just shut up and keep pushing, Sisyphus.”
What is this feeling that I has been lurking around the corners of my brain? Why do I feel as if all the hard work that I have put into my education is for naught?
I am approaching the end of my degree. I have one course this summer, and three in the fall – and that is it. I am done.
In the meantime, I must now look for a job. In this market. At my age. [cough,mumble,cough43coughcough]
To say I am a bit intimidated would be an understatement. But, I have a few bonuses to stave off the jitters.
1.) I am a darn good technical/creative writer. Even when1 my brains are being bad, I know this to be true.
2.) I have years and years of experience as a quality assurance agent and technical writer. This degree was more to open a hole in the glass ceiling that I was whapping against since I only had a high school diploma.
I’m GOING to get hired. I’ve got too many good references not to.
1 – Which they are trying to be right now. “Put a caveat on that statement! Something along the lines of ‘in spite of what you are seeing here’ sort of thing! Do it! Do it!” [And I realize that technically that I just did so here. But at least it is in the footnotes, and not up in the main body, apologizing for my own work. Stupid anxiety.]
WARNING: This may be a slightly whiny post. I am usually pretty adult, but I am in serious need of an old-fashioned tantrum.
Or hugs. Hugs would be good.1
It is almost the end of May. Guess how many times I’ve been camping or to how many camping events I have been to this year?
I’ll give you a hint.
Ooh, I love a man who speaks a foreign language.
*SIGH*
I’m not saying that I didn’t have a fun vending at Comicpalozza in Houston this past weekend. I did. I’m just saying that there was somewhere I’d rather have been. And that has been true a few times already this year.
I blame the therapist. She’s all “set your boundaries and keep them” and “be more assertive with your needs” and other random bullshit like that. So, of course my inner ten-year-old was all like “lalalala, I can’t hear you” when making plans.
Karma can be such a regret-filled bitch, can’t it?
I guess I will just have to be more proactive with myself in the future. And I will certainly be more likely to have my updated calendar with me at *ALL TIMES*.
Well-played Universe. Well-played.
I’ve got the whole Universe, in my…um….blog. 😀
1 – Another warning: This is not a post asking for advice. This is a post listing some regrets and suchlike.
The Process 