i haz an anger

On ageism and why you all can get off my fucking lawn.

~ Bon Steele ~ 3 Comments

I have a test in Personality Psychology in about 2 hours. I need to study a bit more to make sure that I have the vagaries of Freud’s cocaine-dipped, fame-chasing nonsense all straight in my head. Otherwise, this post’d be quite a bit longer.

As ‘tis, I will likely return to this topic because, WTH is wrong with some people?!

Ahem.

On Facebook this morning, I saw a post by a women’s sweat equity group (The Sweaty Betties, if you’re inclined to look them up) stating:

Pictured: Way more dedication to exercise than I have.

“No matter what your opinion of Madonna… she sure has taken damn good care of herself!”

With which I agree. She has – at least for the past decade, many more – worked very hard on her physical body.

However, the comments were more than a bit infuriating:

“Must be nice to be able to have all that money! Look, so plastic!”
“LOL, plastic surgery!”
“Ew, old thighs!”
Etcetera, etcetera.

All the money in the world can’t buy a healthy body. That is the result of setting a course for yourself and sticking to it. Also? The whole “ick, she’s old!” does not, in fact, erase said hard work or make her less than what she is. Additionally, she’s what?  50-something?

I run into this sort of thing at school, albeit not because I look like Madonna. It’s more, “Why’re you in college, sucking up all the learning in the room, you old person, you?”

*snarl, gibber, snarl*

Yes. Definitely coming back to this topic when I have some time.

Shit My Professor Said [Today]

~ Bon Steele ~ 3 Comments

Color Key 

–>> Bits of Notes I took before class via the textbook, so that today’s lecture would make sense.
–>> professor additions, things she was talking about, or notes I jotted while listening to her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*Society Changing views on Adolescence

–> Social redefinition [the process through which an individual’s position or status is redefined by society]

–AGE of MAJORITY -> designated age at which an individual is recognized by society as an adult.

**Adolescence as a Social invention: Started around Industrial Age

….says that the Juvenile Justice system was invented to deal with the poor kids who were huckstered off their farms in the early 19th century. ‘cause they were hungry and stealing and breaking into homes to sleep.

Describe the changes in status during adolescence and the inconsistency in where we draw the age boundaries:

INVENTIONIST ->  Theorists who argue that the period of adolescence is mainly a social invention.

Teenagers: popularized about 50 years ago to refer to young; connoted a more frivolous and lightheaded image than did “adolescent”

… she’s talking about her weekend.

How does the process of social redefinition progress?

How do adolescents transition into adulthood?

How might neighborhood conditions affect the behavior and development of adolescents?

 …still talking about her weekend. 

Identity

Attainment of adult status causes adolescents to feel more mature and to think more seriously about future work and family roles

Autonomy

Adult status leads to shifts in responsibility, independence, and freedom

…talking about her step son now.

Intimacy, dating and marriage 

Need for new decisions about sexual activity

Achievement:  Becoming a full-time employee; leave school of their own volition

  • Adolescence defined primarily by being distinct from childhood or adulthood, not by cognitive and biological changes
  • Inventionists stress that because we perceive adolescence as distinct, it exists as a distinct period of the lifespan
  • Relative to other cultures and historical periods
  • Problems experienced during adolescence may be due to society’s definition of adolescence, not cognitive or biological changes
  • Contradicts G. Stanley Hall’s views on adolescent development (driven by puberty)

The inventionist view is an entirely different view than that espoused by writers such as G. Stanley Hall, for example, who saw the psychological changes of adolescence as driven by puberty and, as a result, by biological destiny.

He believed in the ‘stress and storm’ (WRITE THIS DOWN) period of adolescence.

            Continuous culture -> very little stress
            Discontinuous culture -> American, very tumultuous adolescence.

Story about her step-son. Story about her student.
Holy shitsnacks, another story about one of her students. And – of course – how much she helped them.

Emerging Adulthood

Jeffrey Arnett’s term for ages 18-25 caught between adolescence and adulthood, characterized by:

  • The exploration of possible identities before making enduring choices
  • Unstable work, romantic relationships, and living situations
  • A focus on oneself and independent functioning
  • Subjective feeling of being caught between adolescence and adulthood
  • Subjective feeling that life holds many possibilities

Now we’re talking about relationships and why they don’t…is she really, really talking about her two marriages as examples?

Yes, yes she is.

…Now she is talking about her politics.  Wait. Did she just announce that she is voting Ron Paul? 

Fuck this. I will just take notes from the book until she gets back on track.

Cohort: group of individuals born during the same general historical era.

Extrusion: practice of separating children from their parents and requiring them to sleep in other households; part of the process of social redefinition of adolescent in many societies.

Process of Social Redefinition

  • real/symbolic separation from parents
  • emphasis on differences between the sexes
  • passing on of information from the older generation

Adolescents as Criminal Defendants

You cannot teach morality. 

Now she’s talking about how pedophiles are inhuman monsters with no real morals. They cannot be …

Did she really say that all people who are abused ..oh, no. She didn’t
Not all of them. Just 97% of all people who are abused sexually as children become pedophiles. Because they’re imprinted to become so.

 

THANK GOD THAT’S THE BELL. I AM OUT OF HERE.

 

RANT: An Open Monologue to My Kid

~ Bon Steele ~ 2 Comments

Hi. Hope you are having a fantastic time with your Grammy and all. I really do. I know that getting to see all the multitudinous cousins and etc. on your Dad’s side of the family is super-fun. Plus, you’re getting your travel on, which is always exciting.
However, I’d like to point something out to you.

Paris, TX  is at least 7 hours away from our home by car. Probably a bit more, knowing your Grammy’s propensity for back roads. So, even though I knew that the likelihood was that everything would be alright  – I still asked that you text and/or call when you reached your destination.

Imagine the Wayne's World flashback noise. That is TOTALLY the sound this image makes.

Let’s pause here for a moment for a bit of wibbly-wobbly flashback, mmkay?

I used to be ninja-mom1. Do you remember that?

It’s true. I used to dive in front of anything that even looked remotely dangerous to you. Not that you didn’t make things interesting, what with your propensity to climbing and basic fearlessness. The fireplace mantel incident springs to mind, as an example of your own super-power: teleportation to dangerous places.
I was scared to teach you to ride your bike for fear that you’d fall and brain yourself.
Taking you to the pool was an exercise in twitching every time you squealed.
The park was a dark place, full of terror.
And forget letting you go off with a group of friends. No WAY could you foresee all the dangers out there. Ten years old is not old enough to go up the street by yourself to a friend’s house.
It literally took me YEARS to learn to let go of you. To allow you to go and do things without me hovering over you, ready with the cotton batting to swaddle you in. To keep you safe. Safe from harm, safe from other people, safe from the world.
Years.

 

 

*deep breath*

You’re now almost-13-years old. You’re so strong and capable and smart. You’re growing up so very fast. In just a few years, you will be out the door on new adventures.  I am super proud of everything that you are and are becoming.

Possibly the cutest baby, ever.

Keep in mind, though that in a small part of my brain, you’re still that teeny little baby with the fluff of hair grasping my fingers. You still cry in pain all night and I can’t figure out why and I can’t help and I don’t know what to do and I can’t sleep and I can’t help you and please oh please help my girl because she can’t keep anything down and she hurts and help her please please please2.

All I am saying is that when I ask you to check in with me? It isn’t because I don’t trust you. It’s because I want to know you have arrived safely at your destination.  I am not asking you to call and update me every day. Just let me know that there hasn’t been a fiery crash or an alien invasion. Mmkay?

So. Thank you for eventually texting me that you were in Paris, TX.  I am a bit upset that you waited for two days and 4 calls from me to do so. When you return home, we are going to do some work on being more mindful of others.

In the meantime, enjoy your trip, your cousins and your adventure. I love you.

1 – Anxiety plus mom plus a touch of the anal retentiveness equals NINJA-MOM. (*cue thematic music*)
2 – Colic. It is pure torture for everyone involved. For moms with anxiety, it is hell on earth.