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Halloween is the Best Time of the Year

~ Bon Steele ~ 2 Comments

This is my favorite time of the year.  Cooler weather, themed candy, spooky decorations, horror movies.

I love that spine-chilling feeling.

What I don’t like are over the top, gross-out gorefests. That isn’t scary. That’s just hurl-inducing. A crazy person who hunts, maims and kills anyone who dares to have consensual sex at a lakeside resort is NOT a frightening boogeyman. He is someone that should be tranqued and taken off to the nearest plush-walled hotel for a long stay. Possibly with a plethora of calming medications. I’m not saying that there shouldn’t be gore in a scary movie. What I am saying is that there has to be something else. Otherwise, it’s just colored Karo syrup for no reason.

Now, I get that some folks are of the opinion that there is nothing more frightening than a movie about a mad-dog killer who can’t be reasoned with or put off. The blood drenched walls and bits of carnage make their hearts go pitter-pat. And when the Jason Michael clone killer leaps out from yet another hiding place, they will happily shriek and flail.

I get that. I do. They’re wrong, though. 

Because they’re confusing the startle with a true terrification*. I think that the most effective frights are those that utilize atmosphere. Not-quite right images, everyday things in an improper setting, just out of good aural range sounds, and there-then-gone apparitions. What I am talking about, of course, is dread. Dread of what is going to happen next, dread of the unknown. Building that feeling in film takes time and skill. There are directors who can accomplish this. What leaps immediately to my mind are the Japanese horror masters.

Why is it LOOKING at me?

They take normal situations and then add elements that just fuck you up.

 

 

 

 

 

One of the scariest moments I ever experienced in a movie was when the ghost appeared in the bed under the fucking covers of the fleeing character.

Boo. I am in your trope, changing the rules.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

But there are American directors and writers who can do the same thing. The Freddy** movies started out that way. Sure, they were full of random arterial spray and bed blenders. But they also utilized a new kind of monster. One that could hunt you in your freaking dreams. All the protagonists of the movie were jittery, caffeinated and sleep deprived. Even cat naps could get them muderlated. Plus, Freddy liked to mess with his victims. Maybe their souls were tastier when dipped in a broth of frenzied fear?

I can haz noms on yr soul?

Eventually, the movies devolved into a gore-fest and got stupid. But those first couple were damn scary.

 

 

 

 

Now, I wrote about all of this as a way of explaining my Theory of Halloween decorations. Y’see, there are several schools of thought on Halloween decoration. There is the cutesy, let’s make sure the kids aren’t frightened, Charlie Brown in a crappy ghost costume bunch.

This is terrifying. Esp. that yellow-horned demoness.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Then, there is the just-phoning-it-in crowd:

I am a scary ghost. Put me in your yard.***

 

 

 

 

 

And then there are the folks that I aspire to be, someday.  They build entire freaking haunted houses in their yards. They have themes. They rock my horror-writer’s black heart in so many ways. This year, I will be attempting to decorate my house/yard to reflect that shriveled organ.

Aw, its adorable!

 

 

 

My theme this year is: Haunted Nursery. There will be floating Barbie heads. There will be barely audible children’s giggles interspersed with haunting music. Piles of dirty,discarded toys. Things gazing from the shrubbery.

It will be creepy. It will be disturbing. It will probably get me in trouble with the HOA.

 

 

I can’t wait. 😀

A good start.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

* – shut up, Spell Check. I say its a word, therefore it is a word.
** – Nightmare on Elm Street
*** – what the hell is that in his hand? A hat? The bleeding heart of his creator? WHAT?

Carrot Day

~ Bon Steele ~ Leave a comment
Peeled and ready to be used.Grate, grate, grrrrreat!Brown sugar. And carrots.Carrot, apple and raisin bread.Next up: curried carrot soup!Carrots!
Boil, boil. Toil and trouble.Cauldron boil..Bon, of Chez Bon

In which we cook, a set on Flickr.

Got a great deal on a bunch of carrots. At the end of this, I will have soup and carrot bread…and yet more carrots. Stay tuned.

To Run or Not to Run…That WAS The Question

~ Bon Steele ~ 3 Comments

 

As you may remember, I picked up running earlier this summer.  I have largely hated it, but I was told that it would grow on me. That it would be fun. That it would be uplifting. That the runner’s high would kick in and I would find I actually for real and for true, love it.

Liars.

Actually, that isn’t true. They aren’t lying. Their experience tells them that what they were telling me was the honest-to-goodness truth. For them, running is this almost religious experience. A way to connect to the temple of their body.

Pictured: The temple of my body

Unfortunately, the temple of MY body is apparently dedicated to the Laughing Buddha, who is FAR more interested in happiness than any particular form of exercise.  I never, ever got to the place where running gave me anything but aches and pains. I liked what it was doing for my body in terms of toning, endurance and fat loss. But I would often spend the rest of that day in a considerable amount of discomfort.

I thought all was pretty much lost. And I was actually bummed about this. Because I really, really want to do better by my body. Its given me 41 years of pretty good service, in spite of the –ahem– trials I may have put it through. I’d like to make sure the next 41 or so are healthier. Or at the very least, treat it less like a no-tell motel and more like an actual temple.

Then I found out about speed-walking.  I gotta admit…I was a touch skeptical at first. How could walking compare to running?  Well, if the way I sweat and blow like a winded horse are any indication – none too shabbily.  I have been doing the speed walking thing for the last few runs. And I gotta say, creaky joints or not, I am in far less pain coming in from a run than before.

Not having to gobble Advil like they’re candy = WIN!
Less overall damage to my poor joints is also major win. The longer I can put off the total knee replacement – the better.

For the curious: I am still using a C25K program. I have downloaded and have started using Podrunner: Intervals as my music of choice.  The higher BMP (as compared to the music I had been using) means that even at a ‘walking’ pace, I am getting a better workout. For example, Week 1 Day 1’s BMP and playlist looks like this:

 

BPM CHART
5-minute warmup @ 128 BPM
60 seconds @ 142 BPM
90 seconds @ 128 BPM
60 seconds @ 142 BPM
90 seconds @ 128 BPM
60 seconds @ 142 BPM
95 seconds @ 128 BPM
65 seconds @ 142 BPM
95 seconds @ 128 BPM
65 seconds @ 142 BPM
90 seconds @ 128 BPM
65 seconds @ 142 BPM
90 seconds @ 128 BPM
60 seconds @ 142 BPM
95 seconds @ 128 BPM
65 seconds @ 142 BPM
3-minute cooldown @ 128 BPM		  

 

 

 

PLAYLIST:
01. Antix – Forever Changing – Vibrasphere Remix
02. Liquid Soul – I Get a Rush
03. Fernandro Gullon – Piedras
04. Beat Bizarre – Error
05. Perfect Stranger – Diamond in the Rough (Perfect Stranger Edit)
06. Invertika – Momentum
07. Tristaum – Shiver (Therm’s Trippy Mix)
08. Sterio, McGrath – Gulfcoast (Mike Brin Remix)
09. Da’Others – Tribal Man (Da’Others Edit)
10. Cafu – Vista Style (Original Mix)
11. Ron Carroll – Making Love (Richie Heller Mix)
12. Chadwick Strange – Conducive (Recursive Remix)
13. Behind Blue Eyes – Shadow Environment (Original Mix)
14. Casa Flava – De Moma De (Dust To Dust Mix)

 

I will continue to find new and fun ways to exercise. Later today will be yoga. Tomorrow will be some interval strength training. And maybe more yoga. Somebody once told me that yoga is best practiced daily. 🙂