humor

Wherein I Use My Powers for Evil…

~ Bon Steele ~ 2 Comments
…and totally make a mash-up of Auntie Mame and Dune.
I just want to remind readers that clicking on the links is like seeing a bit of the chaos that lives (and sings, musn’t forget singing – Oh, no. Musn’t.) in my head.

 

I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.

 

 

Wanna hear something really stupid?  I often fear what people might say or think about me.

According to some of my recent Psychology professors, that makes me both narcissistic AND paranoid. Awesome.
I don’t truly think that this is the truth of the matter.  I think it’s more a case of how I was raised, what I think of myself, and how I insert into the world at large.  That’s not the whole of me, though. That’s not the bits what matter.

I am an adventurer. I am Bene Gesserit. I am Irene Cara singing her heart out and assuring you that you ARE gonna like and remember her. I am a woman with a box unfolding in the top of my head, letting in possibility. The Sleeper has awoken!

Source: http://pantsareterrible.blogspot.com/2010/10/dune-mecca-of-awesome.html

And not just because a sexy man wearing bits of a car tire stepped out of a steam shower.
Noooo.

Heh.
OK. Maybe a LITTLE.

Can we just pause here?

Thanks.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Moving on.

Like those women and adventurers in Herbert’s books – I am ready to test my mettle. To put my hand in the box and see what I can do. See what I am capable of. To see if I can end a sentence without a preposition. no, apparently not.

 

 

 

Life is a banquet someone wise1 once said. It’s time to eat it up!

Source: http://www.neatorama.com/2011/06/30/dune-in-candy/

 

 

 

 

 

For she is the Cracked-Up Had-Enough. ;D 
(ooh, maybe the profs WERE right!) 
1 – Mame!  As in MAME!  I’m gonna live forever! I’m gonna learn how to fly! High!

Defect Report

~ Bon Steele ~ 17 Comments
This is your TMI warning.



  • Name of Reporter:  Bon Steele
  • Version or Build:  Unknown, no backend documentation provided with build
  • Module or component:  Female, uterine and associated bits
  • Platform / Operating System:  Human
  • Type of error: Design Flaw
  • Priority:  Major
  • Severity: High
  • Status:  Entered (again)
  • Summary: Intermittent Hardware Issues Across Multiple Platforms
  • Description: Varied behaviors across different platforms. [Please see Defect Behavior.]

Design Flaw Report

Intermittent Hardware Failure(s) Across Multiple Platforms

Steps to reproduce vary according to platform. Some users are reporting a 28-day cycle with regular and reproducible errors. Other users are stating that the defect happens sporadically, with no fixed pattern. We also have reports where the defect happens in a continual manner.

In these instances, the user often requires a patch to maintain normal functioning.

DEFECT BEHAVIOR

  • Fluid leakage
    • Occasional detritus, in some cases
  • Discomfort within the main system
    • In many cases, pain at a 6 or better has been reported.
      [Please see accompanying diagram.]
  • Accompanying failures of systems
    • Intestinal is the most reported
  • Discomfort and/or malfunction of critical systems
    • Headache
    • Muscle fatigue and/or pain, often at a 4 or better.
      [Please see accompanying diagram.]
  • Endocrine and/or hormonal fluctuations
    • These can create a multitude of issues including (but not limited to):
      • Irrational behavior
      • Unstable fuel consumption
      • Chassis covering eruptions
      • Interrupted down time or broken sleep functionality
RECCOMENDATIONS

We recommend pulling this functionality from production until these issues have been resolved.

PAIN DIAGRAM

O HAI TRICEPS WHERE U BEEN?

~ Bon Steele ~ 4 Comments

Ow.

And, ow. Seriously. Everything – and I mean everything, even my brain – hurts this evening. I had a fantastically great weekend and now I am paying the sore muscled price.

 

bliss.

Friday, I spent cooped up in front of my computer writing on my Poe paper and presentation. In thinking about it, I am actually going turn in 3 separate written pieces. A research paper. A PowerPoint presentation1. And a handout for the classmates. I’m about ¼ way done with the paper, ½ done on the presentation. It’s all due this week but I foresee no problem2 with that.

Saturday was errands with the Girl and then we headed over to a friend’s house for fun and games. She had bought herself the Wii version of Zumba 2 and Just Dance. We fooled around with it for a few hours and then headed to our favorite Vietnamese place for their “hot and sour” soup, which is really just the best thing on the planet but isn’t actually, yanno, hot and sour soup.

I head home, feed Mister Man some dinner and then am talked into going out to dance with a group of friends. Oh, sure! Mama can do that all day, every day. No problem. I slap on makeup and assemble my outfit:

Like a BOSS.

And head out into the night. I dance. And dance. And then, for a change? I danced some more. By the time I got home, I was bone tired and more than ready for a shower and bed.

You all see where this is going, right? 
Did you read that? Go ahead and click that link. It’s all right. I’ll wait.
Back?  🙂 Good.

Did you see the part where it says that  the worst bit is about 48 hours later?  Yeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh.

Hello. My name is Alkek Library stairs. You over-did the workout. Prepare to whimper. TL;DR -> Ha. Tomorrow I make you my bitch.

1 – Now with Hee-Haw!   (Yes, you read that right. Hee-Haw.)
2  – Knocks on wood like a madwoman.