Dear cop who followed me for blocks,
Yeah, you. Look asshole, I really don’t need *any* more stress in my life. I realize that while it is likely that you are simply doing your job, its equally likely that you are just getting your jollies by scaring folks. I was doing the speed limit. I was neither zigging nor zagging. The truck is street legal. There was absolutely no reason for your to swing in behind me and ride my tail.
And even though my sleep deprived brain cackled at the thought of tapping the brakes to warn you off my ass, I resisted. Although, if I had had access to them, I would have tossed a basket of life-like toy snakes through your window if I could’ve gotten away with it. Spread the “argh, what the fuck!” around, I always say.