(over at the Frankenstein place)
Well, there’s a light at the end of the tunnel at any rate.
Here’s the Earth New Chore List.
Re-established what was on the daily chores.
- Everyday: Hygiene. Homework. Put away clean dishes (as needed).
- Mondays: Trash and kitty litter
(cause it gets picked up on Tuesdays) - Tuesdays: Bring in the pails from the curb.
- Wednesday: Free day.
- Thursday: Laundry – washed and put away in closet and drawers.
- Friday: If it is her Dad’s weekend with her, pack for that.
- Saturday: Family housecleaning from noon until four or it’s done, whichever comes first.
To help with The Saturday Scrubbening, I have created a housecleaning checklist1 that we can use for each room as we go.
Lines of communication, re-established.
Mostly she is a great kid. But she is deep in the throes of teenagerdom.
Mister Man reminded me that we are in the very worst part of it, too. The beginning bits are always hardest as everyone works to adjust. I’m going to look on this as an opportunity for growth. For all of us.
I also need to keep in mind that she is stretching out, trying on new personalities. She is going to go through different personas as she figures out what and who she wants to be.
So, for now I just keep establishing the same boundaries as far as cleaning, attitude, and hygiene2 are concerned.
I will maintain low tones. And offer tasty treats as rewards.
1 -Damn, you might say. That is a sweet checklist.
2 –Which, as I said, I think will mostly take care of itself. Wanting to be pretty for others includes not smelling of feet.
The Process 
That light was always at the end of the tunnel. It just needed the on switch of awesomeness, though I would bet a grail might have been useful too.
She really is pretty fantastic, most of the time. When she does screw up – it is in the most Michael Bayesque way possible, is all.
Free day is a good idea, IMO.
Something I thought of this morning, before I read your post, is that I’ve been handling some of my daughter’s requests (daughter’s age in years is still in single digits, in months is already triple digits) in this manner:
D: Mom, can you do this for me?
M: Well, I have to do X, Y and Z. I want to get those done now. If you help with one of them, I can help you with that sooner.
And I generally don’t give a flip as to whether or not she helps, but I’m putting boundaries on my time, and if she wants something from me sooner, she has to make an effort to make “sooner” happen.
I love that idea. I’ll have to give it a try.